Dear Journal
by Lisa Sutherland
Summary: Zexion is forced to write his innermost thoughts in a journal, and soon realizes this outlet is the most wonderful thing ever, well except for Demyx. Zemyx rated for later entries, finished 6/9/58. cutting, suicide attempts, thanks everyone for reviews!
1. January 18th 2008

I know, I know, it's been a while since I've posted anything, but hopefully that will change. With the nudging of my counselor, I'm supposed to keep a journal, but my life's so BORING! So I figured, I'd create a journal for my beloved Zexion, His woes, hopes, dreams, and hopefully, it'll be way more interesting then anything I'd do. So, please, enjoy

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney, how dareth thou deprive e of the thing I love so much,"Zexion, one day, you shall be mine."

January 18, 2008

So, day one, this is dumb, how can a stupid counselor make me record my innermost thoughts? It doesn't make sense, it's my life. It's like all she does is lecture and tell me what to do. What help is that? None. So, how shall I start this, I'm Zexion Iwshe, I'm 17, in the senior year of high-school, and According to Mrs. Ensuko, I have problems. I'm therefore supposed to write in those stupid thing everyday or be sent to some "special" school, like that's going to happen. So, about me, I'm not athletic, I'm thin, about 5' 7", I have longer grey hair that conceals my steel eyes. I like English, despise math, suck at art, and I'm in love with the most beautiful creation on this earth. His names Demyx, he's artistic, smart, and a blue-eyed blonde. He's also my best friend, and even though I don't want to admit it, it hurts that he doesn't know. I've never felt this strongly about anything before, but I can't tell him, he's straight, always a new girl by his side, it wouldn't work. But when he stares at me with those cerulean eyes, I swear my heart stops. It doesn't help that I practically live at his house, mines not the best… My dad's in the service, big guy, big attitude, he's disappointed I'm not like him. He lets me know every day, every night, anytime he feels I can use some extra misery. My moms a drunk. I think she does it to deal with dad, but, no one knows, she's been to rehab, yea, right, like that'll work. So, right now, I'm hiding in my little room, dad should be home soon, id leave, but I'm grounded, something about not getting all A's. One fucking B and I'm stuck here, away from my love. Well, at least my punishments over Friday, then I can spend the weekend with Demyx, We're seeing the new Bourne movie, he said it looks good, I thought he looks good, so, in the end, everyone's happy, great dads home, g2g

Zexion Iwshe


	2. January 19th 2008

January 19, 2008

I hate humanity as a whole. At least it's Saturday, and above all, I get to spend it with Demyx, I escaped the house under the ruse that I had homework, yea, right. The day I get homework is the day Martha Stewert becomes president. We're going to the movies with Marluxia and Larxene, which is kinda annoying. Larxene is the biggest flirt in the world, she can't decide between Demyx and Marluxia, and, well, Everyone else, except me of course. I'm to "emo" for her, whatever that means. O well. At least Demyx will be there, he's all exited, sumthing about the Bourne trilogy ending, and it;;ll be the best ever? I don't know, what I do know is he's the best ever, well, movie time.

Zexion Iwshe

January 19, 2008 Nite

HE HELD HER HAND. I mean, yea, she might be cute and all, but, it's just not fair, Marluxia was there the whole time staring at her, why couldn't she hold his hand, even though Demyx is hotter, and sweeter, and more thoughtful, but still, eerrrg, When I got home, I was hoping everyone would be asleep, guess I was wrong, Dad was waiting on me, "How dare you come home after curfew, " which I wasn't, and I told him that, big mistake, lets just say im glad my hair covers that side of my face. Fucking hurts though, after he finally let me go to my room, I let myself get the better of me, I just, idk, without even thinking about it, I had pulled the little silver box containing may prized possessions out from under my bed and before I knew it, I was staring at the sticky red lines creeping along my arms. I guess that's why they created long sleeves, I just hope Mrs. Ensuko doesn't do an am inspection Monday, then I get to talk about my feelings and crap like that for an hour before she futilely makes my promise ill try not to do it again, gives me that sad stare and opens her door telling me to meet her at the same time the next day. I'm going to bed, my head's pounding, nite.

Zexion Iwshe


	3. January 20th 2008

January 20, 2008

The day of rest, that's all I feel like doing. I woke up at 9 to moms pleas for me to go with her to church, yea, ok, im not the church type, and honestly, I couldn't get up, my body aches in places I didn't know existed. My face is a mess, I guess I didn't completely feel it last night. Dads no where to be seen, probably off with his friends or something, why does he do this to me, he has nothing to gain, just my despair. I got a prescription for Prozac Friday, Mrs. Ensuke said it would help, she has no idea what I feel, or whats going on, because, honestly, ive never told her. Lying can serve its purpose, but I really didn't want to take it, I mean, I was feeling better, dad let up, mom was a tiny bit less drunk, and Demyx, well, hes always wonderful, but right now, I don't want to get up. Its 2 in the afternoon, moms in her usual pre afternoon drunken doze, dads still gone, and, well, I don't want to move. The phones ringing, ill be right back…He wants me to come over, wants to play guitar hero, I cant, he cant see me like this, then he'll know and ignore me, or leave, I couldn't handle that right now, I just couldn't. I told him I had to do homework, he seemed disappointed, dammit, why? Why does my life scream awful? I have start my calculus, great way to spend an afternoon, then lie in bed, ice my face.

Zexion Iwshe

January 20, 2008 nite

Well, my homeworks done, moms still asleep, dad never came home, probable off with one of his bar whores. This journal thing, Im starting to get used to it, I can actually write down what Im feeling without people knowing well, what im feeling. Its nice, Mrs. Ensuko actually for once had a good idea. Which reminds me, school tomorrow, so recap, sleeves, comb my hair a little more over my face, and fuck, w/e. At least I can see Demyx, even if he doesn't know, ill at least have that. And fill prescription at the pharmacy, what the hell, maybe itll work, I need something, who knows, maybe all my problems are in my head,

Nite

Zexion Iwshe


	4. January 21st 2008

January 21, 2008

It's Monday, school. Waking up at an hour no one in their right mind would do of their own accord, to walk 20 minutes in the freezing cold, to sit through lectures that would put an insomniac to sleep. I think I'll take my journal to school with me, jot stuff between smart quips the teachers make at Demyx and the gang to pay attention, or quit talking, or, "no you cant to the bathroom again, that's 4 times already." A lot of the bruising's cleared up, so I should be fine, Ill just say I fell, I am pretty clumsy, I doubt anyone would notice anyway though, o well, time for school.

English

Today's assignment, write a poem, should be easy, I think, I mean, ive written so much, I could just turn in the back of my calculus homework and thered be plenty to grade. I'm sitting behind Demyx, he doesn't seem that happy today, I wonder if anything happened with Larxene. For some reason my heart started racing when I started thinking about that, I just want him to be happy I guess, Ill ask him what happened during lunch

El Classe de Evil, aka Calculus

So, math, ummm, yea, not working, its not even comprehendible? How can a number equal a letter? Or some other "created just for pointless math" symbol. Today, we're supposedly learning about quadratic functions, zzzzzz, jk, my head hurts to much from the math to attempt REM. I wish Demyx had this class, I take that back, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, theres the bell

Lunch, well, the bathroom during lunch…

He slept with her, that's why he was upset, he slept with her then she left him for Marluxia, part of me feels bad for him, but, part of me was jumping out of my skin, happy that he was free, single, yet straight, always straight. I feel like my hearts bleeding tears, I love him, a love that will never be. I need something sharp, I think I have a compass from physics in my bag, but part of me knows I shouldn't. why am I so weak. No one else has to mutilate themselves to get through the day, its actually kindof backwards. Hurt yourself to live? He slept with her, that bitch touched him in ways ive only dreamed of, and then betrayed him for a flower loving nut. Someones coming in the bathroom, ttul

Post counseling art class

We're making these Japanese, or Chinese, or some Asian race's idea of paper cutting, with really fine pieces of paper and xacto knives. Nice. Not the best thing to do after counseling. There was an arm inspection, she also noticed bruising, I told her I fell, she asked why just falling would make me upset enough to cut. I think she knows, she passed her gaze over my face, and seemed saddened, like something clicked. If she contacts my parents Im screwed, might as well die, cause dad'll kill me.

Home, nitetime

She didn't talk to dad, thank god, or whatever divine being is up there. After school. I walked with Demyx to his house, we finished our poems, even though mine was about him, I dont think he noticed, he was still pretty upset about the weekend, we finished, played guitar hero, then mom called for me to come make supper and I had to leave. Dinner was quiet, mom still partially trying to figure out where dad was, and why there was makeup on his shirt, and dad just out and out not talking. Silence is bliss. Then I came to my room, write this, and go to bed, start the day over again, I'm proud of myself, I didn't do anything bad today, well, bad by some peoples standards, maybe, things are getting better, or maybe, it's the prozac speaking?

Zexion Iwshe


	5. January 22nd 2008

January 22, 2008

Its Tuesday, yay, sarcasm. It snowed last night, so we have a 2-hour delay. Two hours of being stuck at home. Doesn't matter anyway, mums in a stupor, dads at work, the house is actually quiet! I wrote my poem for English, its kinda sappy, but I was looking at my window watching Demyx try to formulate a sentence, little alone a whole poem, that it seemed right. He is beautiful, the way he gently nibbles on his pencil when something doesn't make sense, or brushes his bangs from his view… Great, school was canceled, Demyx is jumping up and down, lol, hes just so expressionate. Wait, that means ill be home when dad gets off work… I need to tidy the house, brb

Later

Dads home, Im hiding in my room, he doesn't know school was canceled, probably figured mom cleaned, yea, right, an Armageddon's tomorrow too. Shit, I left my bag downstairs, he'll know I'm home, have to get it..

I wasn't playing hooky, I told him school was canceled, did he listen, well, obviously not, whats the point. I don't even think life has a point,

"From day one I talked about getting out, but not forgetting about how my worst fears are letting out, he said why put a new address on the same loneliness, when breathing just passes the time, until we all just get old and die, now talkings just a waste of breath and livings just a waste of death"

Why would it be so cruel, why would god, or what ever, if there is someone up there, subject anyone to this, I feel like I cant to anything right, ever, I cant have the one I love, but I can get beaten to a pulp, I cant live a normal life, but I can clean up when mum binges, I cant fucking deal with this, life has no point, we're all going to just die anyways, who fucking cares, I need my box, its not under my bed..


	6. January 23rd 2008

January 23, 2008

Fuck, everythings covered in blood, dad fucking found my box, asked why the fuck I needed that shit, and well, I don't want to write down what happened, I just woke up, I have to go to school, FUCK, why bother, wake up, school, have my heart smashed and torn, counseling, get fatherly love, write in journal, and/or cut, sleep, and start routine again, what kind of life is that? I need to at least see Demyx again, even if it's the last time, I just want to see him, just one more time, Ill grab my sleeping pills on the way out, wash up, hope mums asleep, time for school

Lunch, in the bathroom,

That's it, I want my last words to be recorded in this journal, Demyx is with Larxene, again, what happened to her breaking his heart? I cant deal with this, this isn't how life should be, I give up,

Farewell

Zexion Iwshe


	7. January 26th 2008

January 26, 2008

I woke up, and I saw a bunch of really bright lights, and I actually thought there might actually be a heaven, then I felt a sharp pain, looked over ad a nurse was changing some bandages. A doctor came in to check on me, said I had been out for three days, and told me there was a mousy haired teen here every one of them after school, stayed till visiting hours were over. A feeling of happiness washed over me, happier than i've been in a long time, then I looked down, my arms are covered in almost cast like bandages, wait, where's mom and dad? And who took me here?

I talked to one of the cute nurses, they told me that the same teen who had been visiting, found me ad called the hospital, and she also said my parents had come in just once, when the hospital was admitting me, she made a comment about mom smelling of vodka...

It's been a long day, after I talked to the nurse, I as really tired, fell asleep watching House MD, and was awoken by an angel's voice, I looked up, and my very own sweet Demyx was watching me from his chair. He was so beautiful, minus being slightly ashen, and a small trickling tear down his left cheek. When he saw that I was awake, he jumped up ad pulled me into a loving embrace, and he just started crying, and sobbing, I couldn't understand what he was saying. When he finally quieted down, he smiled, and told me, he thought he was going to loose me, and it was the scariest thing in his life, I about passed out, he took my hand, I tried not to wince, and stared into my eyes and said," I love you, I've always loved you, I was just afraid, afraid you wouldn't love me too, and I couldn't live knowing that, that's why i've dated so many girls to try to get my mid off you, but it never worked, because, you're the only one I want.. and now that you know, your going to reject me, and, "he started crying again, and tried to leave, I lunged, and grabbed the hem of his shirt, told him how much I loved him, and how I too was afraid to say anything, and then, we kissed, it was the most wonderful thing I the world, his warm precious lips brushing against mine. And then, he had to go, visiting hours were over, so, he packed me o the cheek, promised to come back right after school, and left, leaving my pounding heart ad racing mid to try and capture the last few hours ad engrave them in to my memory forever. The nurse is coming now; she's adding a sedative into my IV drip

Zexion Iwshe


	8. January 27th 2008

January 27th 2008

Today's going pretty good, well, kinda, when I woke up, and the pain was pretty bad, the doctors told me it would be the first week or so, said I did some nerve damage, they gave me some vicodin, but downed my morphine a little, and ten I had a physc council. A cute therapist came in around noonish, we talked for hours, it just seemed right, for once in my life, I actually trusted her, I don't know why, there was something about her that just illicited trust, maybe it was her calm manner, loving eyes, peaceful nature, but I could talk to her, and that's all that matters. We talked about Demyx, school, my cutting, everything, except my parents, I just couldn't talk about them, it just, I just couldn't, they still hadn't visited, they still hadn't called, and I couldn't talk about it. But then she left, and Demyx came in, he had just gotten out of school, and he was grinning, the biggest grin ive ever seen on him. He came in and pecked me on the cheek, pulled me into a warm embrace, and we lay speechless for hours, enjoying the breath on eachothers cheeks, and the pound of our hearts resonating against eachother. He finally had to leave, his mom wanted him home, it was odd, his parents were so nice, welcoming, kind, I wish my parents were like that. They understood my situation, yet they still allowed Demyx to visit, I just don't comprehend how parents can be that kind. My fathers at the door…

Zexion Iwshe

Later

He came in, and hit me, no words, no warning, he walked up to me and backhanded me across the face. He started yelling that I didn't deserve to live, how could I put them through all this, I was the worst son alive, he hated me…he went to hit me again and the doctors came in and grabbed him, he tried to fight them off, he wanted to hurt me nore, in every way possible, and he ended up getting a sedative, and getting halled off. The doctors bandaged me up, and had the counselor come back in. I was in tears, I don't know why, he meant so little to me, but, hes my dad, hes supposed to care, play baseball with me, not hurt me, scream at me, tell me im a failure. I just couldn't talk to her, she said she understood, and told me we'd talk tomorrow. The doctors are giving me something to sleep again, there worried about me, afraid ill hurt myself, I don't know what the fuck im doing, time for sleep…

Zexion Iwshe


	9. January 28th 2008

Im sorry I haven't posted lately, busy, busy, busy. I hope you all like the new additions!

January 28th 2008

I didn't want to wake up this morning. My face hurts so bad. Demyx still hasn't come to visit yet. I think, maybe he wont come back. Maybe he realized that I'm worthless, and no good, and just a dumb cutter. How could he love me? I don't deserve love, my parents don't even love me for gods sake, and your parents are supposed to love you no matter what right? And mine think I deserve to be dead… I guess that dads sedative wore off and they let him go home, a social worker came in a little bit ago, told me that if he was hurting me I shouldn't go back. I don't want to go back, but if they put me in foster care, I might have to move somewhere else, and that means no Demyx, I'll be 18 soon, then I can move out on my own. But if Demyx doesn't love me, whats the point in staying around any more anyway?

Zexion Iwshe

Later

He never came. It's 11 at night and past visiting hours and he didn't come. I guess no one loves me.


	10. January 29th 2008

January 29th 2008

The doctors started me on prozac again. I don't like it. I cant focus at all on it, I can't sleep, and I'm tired all the time. I have tons of homework to do, but idk, or maybe idc is better phrasing. Maybe Demyx'll come today? I hope, maybe, just maybe, someone does love me.

Later

He didn't come again. Dad tried to come again. He got as far as the second door before security got him. He said he wasn't going to hurt me, but I know better. I get released the 31st. Then I get to go back to it all, for now, I'll enjoy the lovely sleeplessness of my medicine counteracting with the sedatives, and charming psych visits, great times.

Zexion Iwshe


	11. January 30th 2008

January 30th 2008

I can't sleep. I just keep having these awful memories, and nightmares. In all of them, he walks in and just starts screaming at me. He tells me how worthless I am. I'm the worst son ever. I can't do anything. He wishes I wasn't born. Then a tear starts to leak from my eye because I realize its all true. I am worthless, I can't do anything. Then he tells me I better not be crying. I try to cover it up, and he hits me, hard across the face, tells me he'll give me something to cry about. I stifle a sob, but not good enough and he shoves me into the living room table. I land on a vase, it breaks, and I'm bleeding. He shoves me over when I true to get up, and grabs the vase and starts hitting me with it, over and over, and when I lose enough blood, or just get beat to where I think this is it, I'm going to die, he goes to swing one last time, and I wake up because some nice nurse is shaking me awake telling me I'm screaming. I don't want to go back home, it'll be worse now then it ever was.

Zexion Iwshe


	12. January 31st 2008

January 31st 2008

Time to go home, well, I guess, I still haven't seen Demyx, I tried calling him, no answer. The only reason I'm going back home is to see him, because, if I don't, I don't see a point in living anymore. Hes the only one who cares. Makes the pain, at least mildly tolerable. I get my stitches taken out in a week, and I have counseling everyday. They said if they see anymore signs of abuse, their removing me to foster care. Moms here, time to go.

Later

When I got home, Dad was gone, mom doesn't even know where he went, he'll probably be back later I suppose, I'm actually about to go check on Demyx, I wonder if he hates me? Maybe he never wants to see me again?

Night

Oh my god. Demyx is in the hospital, He couldn't visit me because hes sick in the hospital, I was worried and upset, and he was laying there with no one to comfort him. He mentioned having a sore throat, but didn't think anything of it. Turned out to be mono, his spleen ruptured, he had to have emergency surgery. I feel aweful, Im going to go visit him tomorrow right after school. Try and cheer him up. I hope he's ok, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him.


	13. February 1st 2008

February 1st 2008

Every one at school is looking at me weird. Wondering why I was gone for a week. I dont care, I just want to see Demyx, hold him in my arms. I have counseling with Mrs. Ensuko, I didn't really feel like talking though, I just sat there an stare at the wall, counting the minutes until I could see my poor sick angel. She said a lot, gave me some numbers to call if I feel suicidal or whatever. Theres the bell

Later

I ran to the hospital, an aske which room he was in, a kind nurse showe me the way and I ran into his open arms. I actually started crying, I missed him so much, I guess, when you think you have nothing, and you finally find something, you realize just how important it is. We held each other, and talked and laughed until visiting time was over, then I had to go home, and hopefully dad won't be there.

Early morning February 2nd 2008

Guess I had false hope, he was home. He was drunk, he was angry. FUCK. I want to cut so bad, so so bad, I don't know how to deal with this. He yelled at me, beat me, yelled at me while he beat me, then finally passed out on the couch, leaving me to clean up the blood, dammed blood, I want to cut myself, and release all this pain, how can he not love me, or mom, how can he abuse life like he does, no regard for anything or anyone, just cheap ass, alcohol, and causing pain to others. I'm bleeding all over my journal, FUCK. I want to cut so bad, I don't know what to do with myself, I just, I don't know how to handle this, Demyx is in the hospital, Id call him, but I don't want to worry him, if I called him, maybe he'd break up with me because I'm worthless, an he doesn't want to worry about me. He's in the hospital for gods sakes, I cant worry him. I cant call a suicide line, Ill get reported to the authorities, they'll put me in a mental ward. This is to much. I need to cut. I neeeeeed it. Why don't they understand what there doing to me, trying to make me stop? I'm not trying to kill myself, end my life, I'm trying to prolong it, make it at least tolerable. Two sleeping pills, that's it, just to get through the night. I want to cut, but Im afraid that if I do, I won't live past it, I cant with how I feel right now, Im afraid Ill end it all, but I need to so bad, It hurts.

Zexion Iwshe


	14. March 3rd 2008

Sorry for the break, schools not the easiest thing in the world, and well, my angst monkey ran away. I know, it was awful, but luckily, the ASPCA found him and returned him and all is right with the world now. Unfortunately though, during his disappearance, he somehow managed to gain a liking for opera? It makes no sense and hopefully, I can get rid of it, but the story continues. I'm going to start on March 3rd, because that helps the timeline. During the time of absence, well, I'll explain it in the story, read on..

* * *

March 3, 2008

I'm being released from the hospital today. Yea, the hospital, I took more than a few sleeping pills… more like… I think 28 was the official count… I'm still cut free though, which I guess is good, I suppose, I've tried, random things I'd find around the hospital, none were sharp enough though, for which I'm thankful. Demyx is fine, He's slightly disappointed in me. Well, he's pretty upset to say the least. I can't stand that he's so angry with me, not even angry, disappointed to say the least, he has this sad look in his eye when I catch his gaze. I've been removed from my household and placed with my friend Axel. He's pretty cool, he's not there much though, always at Roxas's house doing unmentionable things… His parents are pretty cool. Leon and Cloud, there actually amazing, I didn't know parents could be so amazing. Their very open, in multiple senses. Cloud actually told me he had a small problem with self-harm in college. Not as serious as me, but I have someone to talk to now. I go back to school tomorrow. I'm dreading it. I've already missed 2 months. I've had to make up a lot of homework in the hospital, of which Demyx has helped so much. I think I truly love him. It's just that disappointed look he gives me, I want to be with him forever, but I can't stand it if every time he looks at me, he looks slightly upset. Like I let him down. Well, time for bed. I have my own room, and it's pretty private, I love it, and I get actual food. It's great.

Zexion Iwshe


	15. March 4th 2008

March 4th, 2008

Well, school's alright, there are a few whispers behind my back, but it looks like rumor control has been pretty good. I turned in all my old homework this morning with the help of my precious Demyx, and now, I'm sitting in English learning about poetry. A great mad once said, medicine, architecture, law, there all great pursuits, but poetry's what we live for. The ability to express yourself. Actually, we just watched the Dead Poets Society. That's such a sad story. I can relate to it so much. I actually shed a few tears at the more intense moments. Neil killed himself. He killed himself, because he felt trapped, and I completely understood how he felt. Helpless. No Hope. Just the amazing ability to act, do things in his life, and it was all taken away. Towards the end of the movie, I felt Demyx's hand grasp mine, give it a gentle nudge, let me know everything was going to be ok. Time for counseling.

Mrs. Ensuko wasn't the kindest. She normally tries to be understanding, but part of me thinks she thinks I'm a lost cause, and I'm just wasting her time. I told her a little about my home life, and she started to loose that harsh judgmental streak in her eye. We talked for an hour, and then I went to art.

It's been a long day, after school, I hung out with Demyx for a few hours, then went to Axel's for homework, dinner and bed.

Nite

Zexion Iwshe


	16. March 5th 2008

March 5th 2008

Lovely Wednesday, I woke up, got dressed and I'm now sitting in English. We're having a discussion about conformity and its effects on society. Our assignment is to write a paper on the plight of Neil Perry. The effects his father had on him, and the actions the school took after his suicide. I really like the idea of the assignment, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to write about the topic, I mean suicide, when the say commit suicide, it's because it really is a commitment, I thought a lot about it in the hospital. It's the biggest commitment one can ever take, because, its permanence. I was in the same situation just a month ago, and had I succeeded, I would have never seen Demyx again, never seen his beautiful face, heard his lovely voice, felt the warmth of his embrace, I need a minute, I'm going to the bathroom.

Well, I guess leaving wasn't the best idea even if it was to just collect my thoughts. When I came to lunch, I was greeted to a bout of stares from my lunch time companions, I told them I was just collecting myself, some still looked a little wary. I didn't cut. I didn't. But even Demyx looked doubtfully at me. After lunch, he gently grasped my arm, and pulled me close. He looked in my eyes and asked if I had done anything. I told him I didn't, and he sighed a breath of relief. Part of the disappointment in his eyes lifted after that discussion. Now I know, it is possible, and maybe one day, it will all be gone.

Zexion Iwshe


	17. March 6th 2008

March 6th 2008

Axel's kind of worried about me. I told him I didn't do anything stupid, but He still thinks' I did. We're all in English. I turned in my paper, 6 pages typed. My professor was surprised. We talked about Romeo and Juliet today. Further instill the ideas of familial oppression, and breaking against the trend line. The rest of the day went by uneventful, I went home after making plans to take Demyx to the movies tomorrow, Friday, YES. It'll be awesome. Went home to the looks of Leon and Cloud. I guess Axel talked to them. They looked concerned, especially Cloud, he knew how hard it was to stop. I talked to them for an hour or so. Told them I was fine, I didn't cut, and not to worry, I'd find them if I needed them. They looked a lot more reassured, and tool me out for pizza with Axel and Roxas, we had a fun night and back home we watched a movie. Maybe life's going to be ok.

Zexion Iwshe


	18. March 7th 2008

March 7th 2008

FRIDAY, FRIDAY FRIDAY!!! All of my classes just breezed by. My counseling session was quick, and everythings great. Went home, and get dressed for the movies, Axel and Roxas are tagging along, and it's going to be great. I'm still kinda nervous though. Movie time.

The movie was great. I held Demmy's hand the whole time, we laughed so hard pop came outta Roxas's nose. Then we walked home. Axel and Roxas, me and Demyx. Holding hands and enjoying the first truly warm night of spring. When we came to the side street we split up, Axel was staying at Roxas's and Demyx was staying at my new "home". We parted ways saying simple goodnights and agreed to meet at the mall tomorrow. Demyx and I walked home together, not saying a word, just enjoying the sounds of eachothers breaths on the cool nights air. We came in and, surprise, Cloud and Leon had already turned in for the night. I gently kissed Demyx on the cheek, and slowly lead him to my new room. I gently pushed him onto the bed, and turned out the lights.

Zexion Iwshe


	19. March 8th 2008

March 8th 2008: night

We woke up around 11. The night was probably the best ever. We kissed, embraced, and fell asleep, me holding Demyx in my embrace whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Nothing more, but it was still everything to me. We awoke to a cheery Cloud entering to announce breakfast. Wellm that and a loud gasp when he saw the two of us together. We dressed, and went to breakfast, all smiles from Leon and Cloud. We layed on the couch together all day, and watched television. Then around 5, we played outside with Axel, Roxas, and a few others. Kickball is an amesome sport, would have been better though, if I was taller, faster, and overall, nore athletically inclined. Demyx was amazing at it though. Unfortunately, for us though, it had rained the night before, so after 2 hours of hard playing, we walked together, soaked and covered head to toe in mud. Demyx was so hot. I led him inside, and showed him to the shower. We kind of showered together. The hot water ran across our muddy bodies, and we kissed. We didn't do anything 'else' but holding each other was so wonderful. We finished scrubbing the dirt out of our ears, dried off, put on our pajamas, and crawled into a sleeping bag with some popcorn and watched a movie, till we fell asleep.

Zexion Iwshe


	20. March 9th 2008

March 9th 2008

Sunday, beautiful Sunday. We awoke, once again to the calls of Cloud, except, he wasn't calling for breakfast, he was yelling for a different reason, and it had to do with Leon, and a lot of shaking… We laughed, and took a stroll to the local pastry shop, hand in had, to grab a doughnut, and give my newfound guardians some privacy. When we came back, we were greeted by a positively glowing Cloud, and we started our homework. We both had a report on the presidential candidates, and our opinions on their stances, an English worksheet, and some Calculus problems. We the went to Demyx's house for dinner, We talked with his parents for a while, they are SO accepting, they know what I've done, and they don't judge me for it, their just happy Demyx is happy, I wish my parents were like that. We had a delicious dinner, Demyx walked me out the door, and we kissed under the light of the half-moon. I said good night, and practically skipped home, after having the best weekend ever.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

A big thank you to those who have reviewed:

Pockymarawr

Dan Rowe

Japaneserockergirl

VexanIV

6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9

It's really appreciated, and I'll try not to disappoint you all.

I know the last few chapters have had a lighter turn, but, I have some more angst up my sleeve, so, I can't wait to post again tomorrow. Thanks for reading.


	21. March 10th 2008

March 10th 2008

Monday, the beginning of the week, At least schools done for the day. In English, we read the Crucible, the Salem Witch hunts, then complex quadratic formulas in math, lunch and more class, the day was pretty boring, no homework. Demyx came over to watch a movie, Axel, was out, and Cloud and Leon were making out… Around 7, Demyx was getting ready to leave, and then, the doorbell rang. I opened it without thinking to see who it was, and surprise, dad.

It was pretty patheric at first, he started crying, him, crying. Asked for me to move back in, said he missed me. I just looked at him, and remembered all the bad that had happened to me in the last few months, hell, years, and started to shut the door, I was finally happy. Didn't work. He grabbed it, slammed it open, a beer bottle visible in his left hand. He threw it at me, the corner grazing my temple, and exploded on impact on the counter. My first reaction was to push Demyx out of the way, who had been standing stalk still jaw dropped. Cloud and Leon heard the ruckus, and were there in a heartbeat, he only managed to make contact with my face once before he was dropped to the ground by one of Leon's blows. The cops were called, and I was in a daze the whole time. Demyx was sent home in lieu of things, an I was left alone. The right side of my face had swollen by then; I could feel silent tears streaking my once dry face, now covered with sweat and blood. I went to the bathroom and locked the door. Why must others inflict pain on me, I can't even inflict it on myself anymore. Well, I could… I mean, I am in the bathroom, it wouldn't be that hard, but I'm so happy now. My face looks awful, I feel awful, maybe just once? Just one time?

I had disassembled a razor, just once, and when I brought it down to my flesh, I heard a knock on the door, which startled me. Cloud quietly spoke, "Zexion, I know what your doing, It's not worth it, it's not, trust me, please let me in." I obliged, more silent tears, He grabbed me and pulled me into an embrace, the tears no longer silent, and told me everything would be ok. Dad was in jail, and I would only have to see him one more time at trial. He motioned towards the blades I had excavated, and looked at me and asked if I would throw them away. Simple as that. I guess part of quitting is making the decision on your own. I complied, then he sat me down, and treated my wounds, Leon in the other room cleaning the glass. I looked up, and all I could do was apologize, with every shred that was me. Cloud and Leon took me into there home, and all I was, was trouble. A liability, all Cloud did was laugh, and said he wouldn't have it any other way. After everything was put back together, we all sat down on the couch, and watched a movie, some comedy with Robin Williams. It felt good that they were there with me, I felt loved, finally.

Zexion Iwshe


	22. March 11th 2008

March 11th 2008

I stayed home today. Let my face heal a little before going back to school. Cloud took the day off from work, didn't think I should be home alone. I told him it was ok, but I really appreciated him staying nonetheless. I woke up to him making breakfast, scrambled eggs, gravy and biscuits. I love it when he cooks. We ate silently together, then he offered to go pick up a few movies. I asked for some funny ones, and we spent the day on the couch, him making every effort to get me to laugh. The second movie we watched was Wedding Crashers with Owen Wilson. Every-time I see a movie with him in it, all I think about is how he tried to kill himself. He slit his wrists like I do. I wonder what was so wrong in his life he would try to end it? I understand my reasons, but his life seems pretty good. Of course I can't judge him, but when someone seems as happy as him, you wonder what there life's really like when they try to commit suicide. Cloud noticed during that movie, that I inadvertently started fidgeting with sleeves of my hoodie, he told me it was alright, I was safe.

Demyx came over after school. Wanted to check up on me. I apologized for shoving him last night, I just didn't want him to get hurt. He started crying. He didn't think it was possible for a parent to act like that. He huddled into my arms and wept how sorry he was. I didn't know what to say. I held him and told him it wasn't his fault, and how much better he made me feel. He then motioned towards my arms, and made an inquiring look, cautiously of course, and I of course shook my head no, and pulled him close. I hate that. At that moment I was completely happy I didn't, but it switches. One minute I'll regret the scars I've made and another, I'll just wish with all my being to make another one to settle the pain welling inside me. It's hard to find a balance. The counselors gave me some rubber bands. They lasted a whole of 2 days. It's not the same, at all. And it's annoying to others, they know when you want to and it's like wearing your thoughts on your arms. Why they created sleeves. So people don't know. I actually grabbed a pack of camels yesterday, thought, if I had the urge, I'd have a cigarette. I know, I know, it's not healthy at all, but, I think it's better than the alternative. So while Demyx was over, we went out and I smoked. He was startled at first, and then asked why? I hate that question, I've been asked it so many times about so many things and it's always bad. I told him it helped, and that's all he needed, he actually had one with me. Cloud came out and was a little shocked, I hate that. After Demyx left to do homework and chores, I sat down with cloud to watch Anchorman, and he looked at me questioningly. I told him, how much it helped, he told me when he stopped, he stopped eating, just to have something to control. He than looked at me and said in a stern voice, "Don't try it". We spent the evening together until Leon came home and Axel, and we watched movies together until I finally fell asleep on the couch.


	23. March 12th 2008

So, I must admit, dear readers, I'm kind of writing a lot of this from experience… I mean not the parental physical abuse, but, as my beta profile says, I got problems like everybody else, sigh. My angst monkey, well, he's more like an angst King Kong who gets the better of me every once in a while. But, if any of you, my beloved readers have any problems, of any assortment, feel free to e-mail me. I know what it's like, most of you are staring at me, wondering what the hell, she's crazy- me cowering in the back I just want to help.

But anyway, to jump back on the band-wagon, I'm going to be adding a conversation between various characters and myself, I don't know how well it'll go over, but you can let me know if you puppy dog eyes review

O, and the standard, voice droning I do not own the characters of Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney, whispers _but one day __Zexion__ will be mine…_

And thanks again to my beloved reviewers, your review-alerts act as a ray of sunshine on my day, and any ideas on plot twists are greatly appreciated, I'm working on a few ideas from you, my beauties, already…

Lisa: and the dialogue begins

Zexion: I'm not emo!

Lisa: Popular opinion disagrees

Zexion: So, it's not true, no ones calling Marluxia gay? Why doesn't he get constantly berated?

Lisa: It's ok, I'm emo too, you know, you can leave Demyx, and we can… be emo together…

* * *

March 12th 2008

So, it's Wednesday, I'm feeling better, I went to school, great day. That was pure sarcasm of course, everyone stared at me, picked on me, it wasn't pleasant. I can't tell you how many cigarettes I snuck in the parking lot today. English was fun, we watched The Iron Mask, math was evil, only as math and the stomach flu can truly be, and my charming counseling session, gawd. Why is everyone so concerned, Now that my problems are being aired out for everyone to see, people are concerned, how about all those time I came to school making excuses for bruising or my broken arm? No empathy then, of course not, I'm just clumsy. I have Demyx, which I try to remember in these instances, full of self- pity, hatred, loathing, whatever other word you can tack on there, probably fits. He keeps me grounded, We already made plans for the weekend, We're staying at his house, his parents will be out, but they gave there permission, can you believe that? Sometimes though, I wonder if people are more lenient to me, because they think I'm fragile? I'm not, of course, people get beat everyday, they don't resort to self inflicted pain, abuse, mutilation, does that make me weak? Because I can't handle it. Tonight Demyx has a lot of homework, but the weekend, he said, is all us, and only us… I can't wait. Leon and Cloud are still watching me like a hawk, every bathroom break, I'm greeted with uncertain, inquiring glances upon my return, I don't like it in the least, I feel like no one trusts me, they have no reason to of course, but, well, it would be nice. What's with all my banter, I don't know, but, I don't know what I'd do without you, my beloved journal, I think that;s the only good advice Mrs. Ensuko's given me yet. Well, time for math…till we meet again, dear friend.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Zexion: I'M NOT EMO

Lisa: This is my story ok, and you fit the description, just saying….

Zexion: Besides, what about my Demyx, I love him

Lisa: When are you going to learn that he's not real, a fictional character made to amuse the

likings of video gamers across the globe, you can have me, I'm real

slightly puzzled I don't think that made any sense, Zexy, come back here

runs after beloved Zexy

* * *

Once again, thanks to my reviewers, you know who you are, and even those who don't review, thanks for reading, for you have to be reading, right, to have read that last sentence? Because, if you not reading this, you won't know what I 'm writing, and then you wouldn't know what I wrote?

Zexion: Please pardon the authoress, she has way too much time on her hands, and hasn't taken her medicine yet, "Lisa, medicine time"

where'd he come from, wait, does that mean he is real?"


	24. March 13th 2008

Lisa: Sigh, another day, another chapter

Zexion: At least, it's almost the weekend, cheer up.

Lisa: I don't have the energy, Zexy, wanna give the speal?

Zexion: Sure, as you all know, Square Enix and Disney own us, the characters…

Lisa: You're not characters, you're real!!!

Zexion: …and the only thing Lisa owns is this twisted story that makes me look EMO.

* * *

March 13th 2008

School was better, less stares, less homework, and guess what, its almost Friday! I can't wait, a weekend together with Demmy. Well, school was almost great, Larxene started yelling at me in the hallway, called me a worthless cutter who didn't deserve to live. But, you know, it's ok, I guess, I may be a cutter, of course, Demyx keeps telling me, no, 'you stopped that Zexy', but part of me knows, that no matter what, I'll always be a cutter, it's part of me, obsesses a certain part of my thoughts, and probably will forever, I know the scars will. When I got home, surprise, Axel was actually there, he and Roxas got in a fight, I guess my pryro adopted brother kinda torched some mailboxes, I laughed, always fire with him. But my laughter stopped when I saw two notices on the counter with the days mail. I was a court date, for my dad, and another court date from my mother? I opened it with trembling hands, and found she was trying to regain custody of me. Great. I went to my room without saying another word and blasted some Taking Back. Around four, Cloud got home, and I guess he saw the mail because not 10 seconds of being home, he was already knocking on my door, asking if I was ok and If he could come in to talk. I told him no. I don't feel like talking right now, not in the least. I don't want to think at all. Just lay her and listen to music, and maybe sleep. Yeah that's what I'll do, sleep.

Well, so much for sleep, when Leon got home, I guess Cloud was worried, so Leon broke into my room to check up on me, woke me up, I told him I was fine, sigh, of course I'm fine, never been better, Cloud came in after Leon left, make sure I didn't want to talk, I said no, did my homework, and now, it's late, night.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Zexion: Well, Lisa would say something, but she kinda got angry with me, and well, she ran off.

Lisa: I'm back, can't you just admit, you're a little emo, for me. Pleeze

Zexion: This is important to you isn't it?

Lisa: Of course, and announce your unrequited love for me. That's all, then I'll be completely happy.

Zexion: Now I need a walk, sigh, writers these days, mumbles, can I file a character harassment suit?


	25. March 14th 2008

Lisa: It's time to form an angry mob.

Zexion: _sigh _Who didn't update today?

Lisa: One of my favorite Harry Potter fanfics, wheres my torch?

Zexion: In the closet, I'll go get it….

Lisa: Well, while Zexy gets my torch, time for the disclaimer, every readers favorite patrt of a story, I do not own KH or any of the characters therein, just the twisted Zexy…I mean, storyline…

* * *

March 14th 2008

I woke up this morning to my alarm clock droning on and on. I started to press snooze, but decided, maybe today would b better, perhaps? But the I realized, its FRIDAY!!! I jumped out of bed, and was out the door not ten minutes from waking and so exited to start the day. School was pretty normal. Getting everything ready for prom. The theme this year is under the sea, Demyx is so exited. I can't say I share his enthusiasm, but I love seeing him happy. He loves water, practically lives in the bathtub. Most of our classes were put off for preparations, actually, all of them except math. But he took it easy on us today, we played equation bingo. And, best of all, counseling was canceled for the day because Mrs. Ensuko is sick. After class, Demyx and I stayed after for a euchre tournament. We lost of course, We'll beat Luxford and Vexan next time. And then, we walked home in silence, counting down the seconds till we were home alone. When we walked in the door, we found a note on the counter, basically Demmy's parents telling us there was food in the fridge, money on the counter, and be good until they return on Monday. We just looked at each other and grinned. And then, and idea hit, I grabbed Demyx's hand and lead him to the back, his inquiring glances and puzzled looked followed me in the rear, until I opened the back door and a dawning expression splayed across his face as he saw the hot tub… Needless to say, I was a great afternoon, followed by a great evening of take-out and make-out. And finally, we fell asleep in each others arms watching some horror fic. A great day.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Zexion: So how was the mob?

Lisa: A little lacking, that's ok, they updated, so, I'm happy now.

Zexion: Good, I don't need you ranting anymore.

Lisa: Well, I invited a friend from the mob to join us.

Zexion: Who?_ Looks around_

Lisa: AXEL!!!

Zexion: Great, the pyro…


	26. March 15th 2008

Zexion: Axel, you caught my hair on fire!!!

Axel: Sorry _puts out Zexy's hair_

Zexion: **LISA, MAKE HIM LEAVE**

Lisa: _sigh_ Get along you two… Great, AxelNO fireworks in the house.

* * *

March 15th 2008

We woke up around eleven, had breakfast on the porch, then laid around on the couch most of the day. We got our little bit of homework done around 5 and spent the evening watching House M.D. and some movies. Before bed, we took a shower, together of course. As our wet hot bodies came so close we could have been one, I whispered in Demyx's ear "_I love you, more than anything in the world, and I always want to be with you"_ Demyx looked at me and blushed as a small visable tear traced down his face. He told me he loved me too, and put his head against my shoulder crying in happiness. I do, really love him, with all of my heart, nothing will ever change that. After our shower, we snuggled up in Demyx's bed, whispering sweet nothings in eachothers ears, as we snuggled up and fell asleep, happy as could be.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Well, Axel left, something about Roxas waiting for him, of course, he had to destroy half the house first.

…

Lisa: Zexy, are you ok, why are you crying?

Zexion: That was so sweet. I really do love Demyx that much, I can't wait until he gets back from vacation, so I can hold him again.

Lisa: Now it's my turn to cry.


	27. March 16th 2008

Lisa: Sorry I'm late posting guys, spring break just ended and well chaos is the best word to describe it.

Zexion: Excuses, excuses…

Lisa: You could have updated? Or were you too lazy?

Zexion: …I was busy…

* * *

March 26th 2008

I hate Sundays, it's the end of the weekend and the beginning of the week. But this one isn't that bad, any day I wake up to Demyx is the best day ever, and I hope my life will be full of them. We woke up to a sparkling sunrise full of bright reds, purples and golden hues, and each other. We spent the morning lounging around on the back deck, its beautiful outside, had luunch, and then I, unfortunately, had to go home. We parted with a loving embrace and an even more loving kiss. When I got home, I came in to, well, it's to graphic to expose even your eyes journal, but lets just say, it had to do with my new found guardians and the defiling of the dinner table. Mental note, never eat on it again. I went to my room, very scarred and disturbed, and about 2 hours later, yes 2 HOURS, I was awoken to Cloud, fresh from the shower… He told me he read the letters I had gotten the other day, and my court date was set for Tuesday. Tuesday, I have to see him in two days. Great, that's all I can say, great. He pulled me into a hug and told me he'd be there with me, moral support. It made me realize how much more I appreciate having real, caring parents. I started to tear up, I don't want to see him again, I said. Cloud held me tighter and told me he knew, but if I go this one time, I'd never have to see them again, referring to both my parents, which made him tell me that the custody trial was also set for Tuesday. I hate Tuesdays. After reassuring me everything was going to be ok, and telling me, if I had any urges, that he would be in the living room, and wake him up if I had too. He's so great. He's what I'd imagine a father would be. Well, I really don't want to dwell on this, and spend the night thinking about it. I asked him for a sleeping pill, and he gave me one, just in case. And now I'm feeling sleepy, time for bed…

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Exactly what were you busy with?

Zexion: _blushes_ Demyx got back yesterday…

Lisa: _shouts_ He can't have you, your mine.

Zexion: _sigh_ Here we go again…


	28. March 17th 2008

Lisa: He's gone, just gone, wi…with….with Demyx, he's gone…

Axel: It's ok Lisa, you'll find other cute angsty emo boys. 

Lisa: But it's not the same. _Runs to bathroom._

Axel: You better not do anything stupid Lisa, LISA! 

* * *

March 17th 2008

Monday, charming Monday. First thing I did when I went to school was run to Mrs. Ensuko's office. She was caught off guard, normally they have to drag me down there, but, I wanted to talk to her. I told her what had happened, and what would happen tomorrow. She looked at me sternly and asked to see my arms. This is why I don't like going to see her, always the inspections. I told her I hadn't done anything like that, and she eyed me suspiciously and told me to raise my sleeves. Why does she do this to me, I don't even like looking at my arms, just another chance to see all the pain I've gone through. I complied, and she looked at me and smiled, she told me she thinks I'll get through this. We talked for a while, then I went to class, receiving concerned looks from all my friends. I told Demyx I just went to the counselors to talk and he smiled, saying he was proud of me. The day went fairly quickly, classes were still easy, minus math, but that's a no brainer. We got more arrangements for prom done, Demyx was helping with decorations, me with party favors, then we walked home together and talked. When I got home, I sat next to Leon on the couch, and we watched tv in silence, just enjoying each others company. I did my little amount of homework, something about derivatives, and kicked the ball for alittle bit before turning in, tomorrow was going to be a long day…

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Axel: Dammit Lisa, why do you do this

Lisa: sobs Leave me alone

Axel: Come out here before I burn the door down

Lisa: NO, I've had my heart crushed a few too many times

Axel: That's it _burns door down_


	29. March 18th 2008: Court

Lisa: _sigh_ I will never find love, because no one would ever want to love me 

_tears ran down her cheeks whilst soft sobs emanated from her frame._

Axel: _embraces Lisa_ I think I can help you out _softly chuckles_

Lisa: How? _looks up..._

* * *

March 18th 2008: Court

Oh my god, O my god, o my god. What have I gotten my self into. School went pretty quick, I spent most of it in Mrs. Ensuko's. I didn't say anything, but I think she knew her company made me feel better. Demyx walked me home, and gave me a kiss for luck, before leading me for my ordeal. When I walked in the door, Cloud walked up to me and hugged me. I had an hour before court, got dressed and sat on the couch. I honestly don't know what to do. I don't want to go, I don't want to see him, or her for that matter, and I couldn't help the silent tears that ran down my cheeks. It's times like these, that I want to do certain things, but I can't, I can't let everyone down, Demyx, Cloud, Leon, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here. I don't deserve to live if I can't do that one thing for them. I walked outside and sat on the porch, cigarettes in hand, I chained for about 20 minutes before a concerned Cloud came out. Told me we had to go in fifteen minutes. He looked at me, and the worry in his eyes made me tear up again. He cares so much about me, and I'm not even his son. He held me, and told me we'd get through the day, and when all was done and past, we'd go get ice cream tonight and rent a movie. I couldn't help but crack a grin. I cleaned myself up, and we left, off to the court. 

I walked in, and they swore me in and the guy led me into the courtroom with presiding judge Williams. He looked like a kind man, and rumor was, he hated child abusers, pedophiles, and the likes. I walked in and sat at the table with my lawyer, and in comes the one and only, my father. He was wearing a jumpsuit and was handcuffed. He looked at me and smiled. He smiled? He beat me, did all sorts of things to me, that even thinking about them make me wanna hurl. We started with them reading what the case was about and the beginning questioning. For witnesses, it was my father, me, two doctors from the hospital, Cloud and Mrs. Ensuko. They started out questioning 'him' to see why he wanted me. He gave his testimony like he missed me, and would never hurt me. He actually cried. Next up was me. It was hard, looking at him, the man who had done so much to me. The lawyer asked me my name, and asked about various days, like when I took the sleeping pills and had to go to the hospital, and the day when 'he' came to Cloud and Leon's house. They made me relive all those awful times. The beating, the time he got drunk and… well, I had to tell a bunch of people I didn't know about him rap…raping me. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. 

The judge looked kindly at me and called a recess. I went to the back room and ran to Cloud, and told him I wanted to leave. This is too much for me. He held me and told me I had to do it, or 'he' could take me back. After about fifteen minutes, we went back in, me still wiping fresh tears from my face. I took the stand again, this time it was easier, the judge asked if I wanted to live with my father or stay with my guardians. I told them I wanted nothing more than Cloud and 

Leon to take care of me and I never wanted to see 'him' again. The rest of the trial was the doctors and Mrs. Ensuko telling how they saw the physical signs of my abuse, they showed the judge pictures, and finally, Cloud and Leon saying how much of a hard time I've had with the whole situation. The judge recessed to his quarters and came out half an hour later with his decision. They gave my father 5 years for child abuse and it was time for the custody battle. That took a relatively short time. The judge already had Cloud, Leon and my depositions, he just had to hear from mother. She came in drunk as ever, demanded me back, and was led out of the courtroom. The judge gave Cloud and Leon full custody, and adjourned court for the day.

We left the court, me giving Cloud and Leon big hugs, still pretty traumatized from the day, we went out for ice cream, my normal favorite, a giant chocolate parfait, and we rented all the Final Destination movies. We went home, me feeling much better the day was over but still a little off, and we spent the night watching movies. I fell asleep on the couch, with my new guardians-parents I mean, and it meant the world to me.

* * *

Lisa: _looks up and sees…SORA_, Sora, what are you doing here?

_A grinning Axel leaves…_

Sora: I had a bad break-up with Kairi a few months ago. She just didn't understand me and how I am, Axel told me about a cute emo girl he knew, and thought we might make a good couple…? I guess what I'm trying to say is, well, Lisa, would you lie to go to the movies with me…

Lisa: _blushing madly_ I'd love to, with all my heart

_They walk out hand in hand…_


	30. Week of March 16th 2008

Well, my beloved readers, I'm going to try something new, I know your all probably tired of jumping to each page of Zexy's journal, so I'm going to do it on a week by week basis. If you don''t like it, just click 'review' and tell me, and I'll switch back, but that means it'll be easier to read. I hopes you likesys

Lisa

* * *

Axel: Lisa, where are you, its time for your story,

…where are you lisa?

_noises in closet_

Axel: O my gawd, Sora, Lisa, out, now.

Lisa: 5 more minutes, please…

Axel:_ fuming_ The authoress would like me to inform you that she doesn't own KH or KH2, including the characters, all she owns is –SORA— umm, yea, so time for the story…

* * *

March 19th 2008

Today was pretty boring, just normal school, and random makeout sessions, and a lot of smoking. Mrs. Ensuko is trying to get me to quit, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. She doesn't understand, honestly no one does. I haven't cut in a while, fine, maybe just a week or so… but as each day passes, it gets harder, not easier to resist. Only a cutter would understand. Like a person who's never drank telling an alcoholic to stop drinking, it doesn't work that way. Demyx doesn't even understand, though he tries so hard. After getting home, I went to my room and tried blasting music. I don't understand, why are the urges so strong, I'm not even sad? I'm a little stressed, but who isn't. After about two hours of music, I went and got Cloud, I just needed someone to talk to. He looked concerned, I told him I hadn't done anything yet, shouldn't have added that last word. He told me that he was going to tell me what happened to him, and maybe, I'd understand why I needed to quit. He told me that when he was always number one. His parents wouldn't settle for anything less, and would punish him, for anything substandard. He wasn't allowed to join any sports teams, for academics, and soon he found himself the salutatorian senior year with scholarship, college and all sorts of deadlines, whilst his parents berated him for not being number one in his class. He started cutting in April, he had a few friends who had done it, and that's where he got the idea from. He started with glass, than an x-acto knife, than just razor blades, anything handy. He started wearing long sleeves 24/7 and his parents didn't even notice. He kept it up during the summer. He had gotten into his college of choice, tons of scholarships, and over the summer, he saw a kid die, he told me he couldn't swim, and the kid got pulled under, and secretly, he held himself responsible. He went into college, cutting deeper than ever, and he met a cute boy, they started dating, and it got really 

serious. Took him home for the holidays, the day before his birthday he was cutting, and wasn't paying attention, and clipped right across his wrist. He got the hell scared out of him. He lost so much blood, he had to go to the hospital, and get stitches, he was so scared, he thought he was going to die. He couldn't feel some of his fingers, and the pain was unimaginable. His boyfriend came, and was so worried. The pain he was in was unimaginable because the doctors didn't think he needed painkillers. That night, his boyfriend gave him a promise ring, and two later, broke up with him with no warning. He was devastated, hurt, and lost. He fought with cutting, and it took him anoth 2 years to finally stop completely. It took a lot of therapy, anti-depressants, and weird looks from his friends. He looked at me and said, "you deserve to be happy, learn from my mistakes, you don't deserve the pain, you've already gone through so much, no one should have gone through that much in a life time and you're only 17. We all love you, and now is the time for you to heal, everyone slips, but you can beat this, be stronger than me. I know, trust me, I know how hard it is, but you're strong, you lived through your father, you can do anything. By this point, I was crying, unstifled sobs rang into the night air, and Cloud embraced me, he was crying to. I realized at that moment, that he was the only one who truly knew what I was going through, and it made me feel so much better, to not be alone.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

March 20th 2008

Thursdays are awesome, because, their one day away from Friday. Demyx and I are staying at my house for the weekend. Movies and homework. I really tool to heart what Cloud said last night. I hadn't realized what all he'd gone through. I think I can do it. If I just count on my friends, I can do it. I did all my homework, did a little yard work, and hung around the house. I can't wait till tomorrow.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

March 21st 2008

It's Friday, I am so happy, today was another prom decorating day, so it looks like we won't have homework. We went to decorate, and got stuff ready, then it was lunch time, Ii feel so positive right now!

O my gawd, ny Demyx, my beautiful Demyx. He does understand… I went to the bathroom, and I heard crying in one of the stalls, I saw a drop of blood, and the crying, it sounded familiar. I knocked, and silently, a familiar voice said, "leave me alone, please." It dawned on me, that it was Demyx, I told him to open the door, and there was my silent angel, leaking tears of clear and crimson. I cleaned him up, and pulled him outside to talk for a little. He couldn't stop crying. He told me he had been for over a year now. I guess, when he was younger, he had an older brother, and they got in a car wreck, and he died, leaving just a little Demyx to see the blood and his brother laying there dead. He told me, if he hadn't asked for icecream, it wouldn't have 

happened, and started sobbing that it was his fault, everything was his fault. At that, I walked him back to my house holding him tight, my angel needed help, and I was going to be there.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

March 22nd 2008

I took him home and we sat on the couch, him still crying and apologizing over and over for not being strong for me. I think he felt my starting was his fault. I told him over and over that it wasn't in the slightest, and that I'd be there for him. He finally fell asleep in my arms, me soon following, to awake to a sunrise and a curious Leon. He said, "you know, you two can sleep in your bed if you want?" I looked at him and nodded a silent affirmation before nodding to a sleeping figure in my arms. I held him until he awoke, and he apologized even more still, for his behavior. I told him I was glad I found out, and held him tight whispering that we'd get through this yet. We spent the day, just sitting together, until he fell asleep once again, in my arms. I got up, covering my sweet in a warm blanket before seeking Cloud, to talk about this. I have no idea what to do, I feel guilty for not knowing, we were so close, how could I not know, I feel like a failure. Cloud told me that if you want to keep something like that secret, its not that hard. I crawled back on the vouch next to my love for another night of just being there for him.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

March 23rd 2008

It's Sunday, we spent it talking, and I think, we're finally on the same base. I told him I'd help him get through this and be there for him like he was for me. He was still crying off and on, and after a while, Cloud talked to him too. He stayed the night again so we could walk to school tomorrow, the weekend wasn't what I planned, but at least I know now. Demyx actually tried smoking, he coughed a lot at first, but he got the hang of it, said he agreed, it did help. I love him so much, and I don't ever want him to go through that pain again, he's too wonderful to deserve that. He's always so happy and easy going, he hides his feelings so well, its scary. I wonder if he's hiding something else?

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

March 24th 2008

We went to school together, and I spent the day reassuring him it was alright. Wearing matching long sleeve shirts, just kind of weird. Part of me feels so guilty. How much stress have I been putting on him the last few months. It can't have helped. Imagine how much pain I've caused him. I started dwelling on it and ended up back in my stall, doing what I hated most, and the cause of everything, I feel so awful right now. I am responsible, I caused him so much pain and suffering and all he did was smile and comfort me. I'm so terrible. I went to Mrs. Ensuko's 

afterwards, and we talked for a while about everything. I feel a little better but still worthless. I walked Demmy home, kissing him warmly and told him to call me if he needed me, no matter the hour. I went home, and found some comfort talking to Cloud, he didn't suspect it either, and we sat and I cried once again, why is life so difficult?

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: sorry you folks had to see that…

Sora: _blush_, umm yea, sorry…

Axel: _barfs never-want-to-see-that-again_

Well, that's the rest of last week, I hope you all like it, and perhaps, review…please! It would make me so happy, and I'm desperate for ideas, _sweet smile_, really really appreciate it

_Drags Sora out of room.._


	31. March 24th 2008

**Thanks for the reviews, my beloved readers, I got a lot of comments about the weekly format, and although some like it that way better, a majority of you** **preferred the daily journal so, I'll stay with the old way for now. I'd like to dedicate today's entry to 6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9, her reviews always make me smile, and her insight helps me keep the story on it's toes. I'd also like to take a few minutes (lol) to acknowledge some questions or comments made by readers:**

**Pride1289: Ever since last chapter I've been wondering if, when Zexion was in the hospital, wouldn't they have read his journal?**

**O, and I know Sora goes with Riku, but the authoress needs some fun two, right? But you can have the rights to the porno Axel and Roxes make!**

**Lisa: I don't think so, I'd think Zexion would have hidden his journal, or kept it under lock and key, but you never know, I was actually considering adding a small story for the time when he was in the hospital and I didn't post, maybe, I could go further into that?**

**Pockymarawr: the happenings in the a/n are getting a little disturbing lol. jokes jokes.**

**Lisa: Lol, I know, I'm still trying to fine tune what to start and end the chapter with, but I'd be glad to take suggestions.**

**And lastly Minamina: Only five years? (referring to the Dad's jail sentence) Do you understand the justice system? :C It'd be more like 30 years**

**Lisa: I'm a biology major, I honestly don't know much about the justice system, but that's why I have you!**

* * *

**Axel: I'm getting irritated, it's not as much fun torching stuff when Lisa's here to watch, **_sigh_**, HEY ROXAS!**

**Roxas:** _inches next to Axel_**, yes Axel.**

**Axel: now I told you to call me love god**

**Roxas: You have to be kidding me.**

**Axel: Lets try this again, we're going into the back room, and Pride1289 is coming with, and we're going to make a movie together.**

**Roxas:** _dragged to back room_**, what kind of movie Axel?**

**March 24****th**** 2008**

**I'm still worried about Demyx, he's having such a hard time with everything. His parents still don't know. The good thing is, next weeks spring break! We're not going anywhere, well, we don't have any plans as of now, but Demyx really need this break, I'm afraid if he gets any more stressed, well, that bad things will happen. I love him, and it hurts to see him like this. He's still smiling and acting normal at school though, despite my knowing of his cover. I don't know how he does that, pretends to be happy, in his eyes, I can see stress, pain, sadness. We went to school together, not really doing much, the teachers are ready for graduation and summer, we watched a lot of movies, and we walked home together. We spent the night at my house, an idea from Cloud, to make Demyx feel safe. I hope he'll open up to me, I don't want my precious angel to go through this alone.**

**Zexion Iwshe**

* * *

_Two hours later_

**Roxas: **_pants_** that kind of movie of movie**

**Axel: **_grin_** Yep!**

**Roxas: I'm going to bed, I'm tired**

**Axel: not without me your not…**_runs after Roxas_


	32. March 25th 2008

Marluxia: Where'd everybody go, I know that Demyx and Zexy are gone, Axel and Roxas are shudders…, and Sora's off with Lisa, Hey, I don't want to be all alone!

Larxene: You're not alone Marluxia, you have me…

Marluxia: _blush_, umm, yea, hey, ya wanna go grab a bite?

Larxene: First, the disclaimer, than I'll bite whatever you'd like (me ;o)

Marluxia: _says-this-in-like-2and-a-half-seconds-_ Lisadoesn'townus, SquareEnixand Disneyownus allminusthistwistedstory, there…

* * *

March 25th 2008

Well, it's Tuesday, charming Tuesday. We spent the day doing meaningless homework, eating nasty food, and being berated by popular kids, tis the life of a high school student.

I walked Demyx to his house, he wanted to talk to his parents today, about, well everything. He got so nervous, I felt so bad seeing him like this. We walked up to the front door, and he sank to his knees, and said he couldn't do this. I lowered to the ground next to him and pulled him close, wiping the single tear that fell from his tranquil blue eyes that had lately been so full of pain and agony. I held him close and whispered sweet nothings as he buried his face into my shoulder and openly wept. "They'll think it was there fault, he said, they have enough to go through, with the bills, and the di-divorce" I didn't know, they all seemed so happy, so kind. And it finally dawned on me why Demyx was so shook up about, well, everything. He told me that stuff around the house has been pretty bad for about two years now, his dad was cheating on his mom, a bit of a drunk himself, and he had known the pan of drunken beatings at 2 in the morning. All I could do was hold him, and tell him everything would be alright. We can make it, together. I swore to myself, at that moment, that I'd always be there for my companion, my lover, no matter what happened. We entered the once warm house of Demyx, and found total chaos, his father had a handful of random bags set by the door and his mom and dad were screaming at each other. Demmy walked in and just fainted right on the front doorstep. I looked at his now shocked parents and said, "see what you've done" and picked up my love, and carried him home. Cloud gave me a questioning look, and I motioned that we'd talk in a minute. I lay me sweet on my bed, gentle caressing his temple with my lips as I pulled the covers to warm his small frame. I left him to talk to Cloud. I told him what had happened, and he said Demmy was allowed to stay as long as he needed, and all I could feel at that moment was everlasting gratitude and love for my new father, for that's what hes come to be. Demyx woke around 6 and I sat with him, and told him it would be ok, everything would be fine. He cried some more as we sat on my bed, and we fell asleep together, just hoping the morrow would bring a better day.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Crickets

_Chirp_

_Chirp_

_Lisa and Sora walk out of the closet and look around…_

Lisa: where'd everyone go?

Sora: I don't know, its like so empty in here…I hope nothing happened?

Lisa: _walks around house and hears loud noises coming from multiple places_

_Yells_

HEY PEOPLE, THIS ISN'T A LOVE SHACK

Sora: except for us…


	33. March 26th 2008

Lisa: So I think we all play spin the bottle?

Axel and Roxas in unison: noooo, please no, let's play something else.

Sora: Let's just watch a movie?

Demyx: That sounds great, and that means I can snuggle up to you Zexy…

Lisa: What movie should we watch?

Unison: Halloween!

Lisa: Halloween it is

* * *

March 26th 2008

Demyx had a good day. Classes were once again easy, well, minus math, fumes the evilness. We both went to Mrs. Ensuko's after class, Demyx didn't say much, but he visibly relaxed being in her office. I talked to her, mainly about my smoking, she wants me to stop, and I told her, that that wasn't possible at the moment; I just depend on it too much. She gave me an appraising look, as if to inquire what exactly was going on at the moment, but I just shook my head. After the session, we went to art, one of Demmy's favorite classes, today we made some weird Japanese cut paper pictures, well the rest of the class did, all I did was make a mess. After our classes, we walked to my house, hand in hand just enjoying the silence, when we got there however, there was an unexpected guest. Demyx's mom was talking to Leon, and crying? I guess Demyx's dad ran off, there wasn't much hope he'd come back. We caught that little quip of the conversation and Demyx grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the back yard. We climbed our big oak and sat on one of the boughs, small sniffles emanating from my love. I wish there was something I could do, he doesn't deserve this. After about an hour or so, we figured it was safe and went inside, plopped on the couch and enjoyed the quiet until Leon came in and told us that Demyx's mom was looking for him, but also, that since he was 18, there was nothing she could legally do, so if he didn't want to talk to her, it was his choice. Demyx's eyes welled as he thanked Leon, not just for averting his mom, but for being there. After some dinner, courtesy of Cloud, Demyx was tired and turned in early. I sat outside, smoking of course, and Cloud joined me. I told him how worried I was. He said he was too, but as long as I was there for him, he'd get through it, and as long as we created a strong support group, it would all turn out ok. I finished my cig and went inside, packed my bag for the morning and snuggled up with the one person who meant more than the world to me, and with that last happy thought, transcended sleep.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Huddled in corner….

Lisa, Zexy, Sora, Roxas, Marluxia, Demyx and Larxene were petrified, the smallest noise bring small gasps and screams.

Axel: **BOO**

_Runs screaming into the bedroom_

Axel: _haha_, now Roxas and I have the house to ourselves…


	34. March 27th 2008

Lisa: Sorry this is late everyone…

Zexion: Care to tell them why Lisa _grin_

Lisa: Binge drinking is bad, there I said it. O my head hurts.

Sora: _rubs shoulders_ It'll be ok Lisa

* * *

March 27th 2008

Today, well, it was fun. To say the least. The schools in Spring Break mode, and well, even the teachers are a little stir crazy. I chemistry, we made small dry ice bombs, just for fun of course, and math, well, more equation bingo, and English, we watched a new age version of taming of the shrew, I think it was called 10 things I hate about you? It was funny. And art, origami. All in all, Demyx and I are having a great day. Tickets went on sale for prom, 15 bucks a pop, and a lot of the decorations are done! Tonight, Demmy and I agreed to just go home, sleep, and get ready for spring break, we're not sure what we're doing yet, but we'll spend it together, and every moment with Demmy makes my life that much more meaningful, I hope he feels the same way….

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: _moans_

Zexion: _sigh_ I told her to lay off the captian, and scotch…and vodka, wow,

Sora: she drank all that!


	35. March 28th 2008

Sora: Feeling better Lisa?

Lisa: Yea, much, and to kick off today's story, I'd like to make a dedication to someone who amuses me to no end, looks to see if there's a video camera around, Pride1289! Your reviews are like miniature stories of there own…

Well, time for…._drum roll_…the disclaimer! Sora,

Sora: Lisa doesn't own KH, Disney and Square Enix do, all she owns, is, well, this insane plot,

_Lisa mumbles_

Sora: and something about me being her sex slave…WHAT!

* * *

March 28th 2008

It's Friday, yay. We had a half day, brunch, and virtually no class! Demmykins spent most the day in Mrs. Ensuko's office, I guess he finally decided to talk to her, or she slipped some truth serum into his juice…

Well, he talked to her about stuff, he's still having a hard time with cutting, I've caught him in the bathroom three times this week alone. I must admit, one of those times, I was in there for the same reason. We're screwed up, aren't we. Some times, I wonder, if you were a person, journal, whether you'd even talk to us. It's incomprehensibly difficult. Sometimes, I wonder, if it's even possible. But when I'm down at my lowest, I know, I have Demmy.

So, we got home, and Cloud and Leon told us, that for spring break, the six of us were going to Florida to stay in their sisters condo. This is going to be so much fun, they told us to pack, and that we're leaving at 7!

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Yay Florida, I've never been… _sigh_

Sora: It's beautiful, and warm

_Evil glare_

I mean, it's awful, muggy, there are bugs…


	36. March 29th 2008

Lisa: Today's narrative's going to be a little different, I'm going to see if you'all can pick up on it _sly grin_

Axel: I love fire

Zexion: not again…

Roxas: **OW MY LEGS ON FIRE!!**

Lisa: here we go again _sigh_

* * *

March 29th 2009

Well, I'm kinda new at this, I suppose. Ms. Ensuko said I should try writing my thoughts down. It's not easy; I have so many all at one time and can't put them all down on paper. But I guess, in the end, it'll work out. Zexy does this journal thing, Axel jokes about it being his diary every once in a while, Cloud yells at him quite a bit. I must say, I've come to love this place like my own home, well, when it had some semblance of sanity. Before it slipped off to chaos of course. So, I guess I'll try this the right way, I'm Demyx Itatchi, I'm 18, like the color blue and I'm a senior. I have some problems, I guess. Part of me doesn't like writing my thoughts down. What if someone read them? I mean, for example, pondering suicide and acting upon it are two different things. What if I wrote my musings, and someone put me in a ward. Society today, it just isn't right.

"Society corrupt today

to let a murderer get away,

give a rapist only eight years,

while the family's still in tears"

It doesn't make sense, the war, the heightening suicide rates, which, if I might add are up t the 11th leading cause of death in the US, at the moment, people don't know how to cope. Well, we're on the road right now, Cloud wanted to drive, something about a roadtrip, I don't know, but Zexy's been sleeping for a while. He's having a rough time. He doesn't let it show, but a lot's been getting to him, especially lately, and I feel so hopeless. Well, all I can do for now is keep watch, but at the moment, a nap doesn't sound that bad…

Demyx

* * *

Zexion: I love him so much, my angel

Lisa: Where Is he anyway?

Zexion: His grandma's house, for a visit

Lisa: old people, _shudder_


	37. March 30th 2008

Lisa: The dedication today goes too… Pockymarawr, for always being here, since the beginning, I feel the love

Axel: You're kinda creepin me out Lisa

Lisa: Sorry….

Axel: green fire is sooo cool

Sora: Ouch

* * *

_Demyx_

March 30th 2008

Florida is so beautiful, the way the water sparkles as the trees sway softly in the breeze and the whirring sound of just nature. I love it. It's so peaceful and just the silence, minus Zexion's snores of course, well, it's overwhelmingly tranquil. Our agenda for the week ids to relax. Half the time at the beach, well various beaches, and the rest at the time just hanging around. I think Leon and Cloud wanted to give us all a break after all that's happened the last few months. I can tell that Zexy really needed it. He looks so peaceful, and innocent, like he's unaware of all that's bad in the world, doesn't even exist in it, just a passerby floating around in glee. I love him so much, and I hope he fully comprehends just how much he means to me, because, sometimes, I can't even comprehend it. Today, we're just laying around the condo, on the beach. Relaxation, the best thing in the world, well, besides Zexy. He's waking up now, time for the beach.

Demyx Itatchi

* * *

March 30th 2008

It is soo pretty here. And Demyx really needed it, he's just so stressed, I used to not be able to see it before, but now that I've picked up on it, the signs are just so obvious. I feel bad, the whole beach thing, I mean, I love it, but it kinda implies short sleeves… Fuck, well, all I have on my arms are stark white reminders of my woe, I switched to my inner thighs after yet another arm inspection, but I don't think Demyx has. It's one of those things, where you don't think about it till it happens. It's still pretty personal; I need to talk to him about what we're going to do. It sucks to have constant reminders of your doings. Otherwise, though, everything's great, everyone's happy and the weather is so great. I can't wait to go swimming, the water looks so warm, well, Demyx is calling… Warmth awaits

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: SORA, youre pants are on fire!

Sora: **YOU-DON'T-THINK-I-KNOW-THAT**

Lisa: **AXEEEL!**

Axel: _rolling on the floor laughing_


	38. March 31st 2008

Lisa: Tis the end of another month, so sad, so sad

Demyx: It's ok, it'll be summer soon, we can hang out at the beach more often.

Lisa: I was just kidding, I can't wait till Aprils over, NO SCHOOL!!

Demyx: sigh You're supposed to be the smart reasonable one

Lisa: Whats that supposed to mean?

* * *

March 31st 2008 (Zexion)

Well, It's gorgeous here. Demyx's normally clean white skin is burnt brick red, I can hear him complaining from here. It's kinda funny. And Cloud made designs on Leons stomach while he slept on the beach so now it looks like he's wearing a tie 24/7. Today, on the agenda, relax, which seems to be a recurring theme lately, I'm so happy it's spring break, I needed it, and so did everyone else. Well, beach time!

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: well, for spring break, its gonna be kinda boring, so I figure, I should rotate and do either Demyx or Zexy each day, this is a relaxation time, I think you all agree, they need a break, _sigh_, spring break…

Zexy: You were sooo wasted over spring break, remember that time you..

Lisa: That's enough, the readers don't want to know about that..

Zexy: _rolling on floor laughing_, I just don't understand how, even intoxicated, you managed to do that!


	39. April 1st 2008

Lisa: Well, I'm getting kind of bored of this story, idk, I think today'll be the last day. There's not much left to do.

Sora: But what does that mean about you and me? _Incredulous look_

Lisa: We need to move on, I can't see you anymore Sora...

* * *

April 1st 2008

Zexy awoke to sobs, as he gently lifted his bed linens, and tip toed out of bed, he inched to the bathroom and placed his head against the small crack in the floor. The voice was recognizable his beloved, crying? He listened a little longer, unsure how to act, and then everything went quiet, the new silence startled Zexion, as he impatiently waited a moment before quietly murmuring, "Demyx, are you ok". After getting no reply, he burst into the doors, which he found to be locked. He ran to the kitchenette to grab the spare key and unlocked the door to a horrible sight. The note on the sink indicated what had just occurred, but the effect wasn't completely realized until Zexy saw his lover's now burnt body strewn across the bathroom floor, pill bottles at his side, and a guilty knife in his now half clenched hand. He quickly ran to him and grabbed his love, crying, sobbing, just wishing as he lent over to check for a pulse. By this time, Leon and Cloud had rushed in and the look of shock on there faces was only outdone by there looks of sadness. Zexy couldn't understand what had just happened, and he probably never would. No, he was sure he never would. He watched as the older two lifted his loves body gently off the ground and run him to the couch as Cloud ran to call 911, leaving a dumbstruck Zexion in their dust, an afterthought. Zexion knew, he just knew Demyx was gone forever, and at that moment, he grabbed the knife, and ended his now meaningless life, for life without love, isn't really living…

* * *

Sora: Sobs

Lisa: I'm sorry, I truly am, to you Sora, and to my lovely readers, who mean the world to me. I'm sorry.

Thanks for your reviews, and I will miss you all.


	40. Last words April 1st 2008

**_April Fools!_**

Lisa: Haha, I can't end this story, I love it too much, and Sora, I love you!

Sora: classical Sora pout That was mean, wait, so you're not leaving?

Lisa: Of course not silly, just the beginning of another month, this is dedicated to all the readers who have kept me going:

VexanIV

Pride1289

6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9

BrokenAnzaran

Pockymarawr

Japaneserockergirl

Dan rowe

You all mean so much to me with your kind words and funny anectedotes, and to celebrate 5000 plus hits and 50 plus reviews!! I couldn't have done it without you!

Much love

Lisa


	41. April 2nd 2008

Sora: Lisa, you can never leave,

Lisa: I'd never leave you Sora, ever, or my readers.

Sora: _hugs_, you better not,

Lisa: Axel's back!

* * *

April 2nd 2008 (Demyx)

It's Wednesday, I can't believe it's the middle of the week already, It's been a fairly boring week so far. Well, not boring, but just a lack of anything special happening, well, except last night, which was one of the best nights of my life. No, the best night in my life. The beginning of the day was normal, hanging at the beach ,eating from side vendors, and then Zexy said he had to go to the condo early, I wasn't sure why, but he had this indescribable twinkle in his eye, so I figured I'd let him be, besides, the sun isn't going to soak itself up, not that I need anymore…I look like a 5' 7" lobster. So I went back a little before sundown, and there was a note on the table with my name written across it. I opened it, slightly pondering if this was why Zexy left when I read it, it said," A special night for the most special person in my life, meet me upstairs on the roof deck when you read this". I went as fast as I could, I can't believe he did that. He had a nice dinner set up with candles, all my favorite foods, and soft music in the backround. He helped me into my seat and I was still speechless, He lent in front of me, down on one knee, and looked straight into my eyes, and told me,

"_Demyx, I love you with all of my heart, and I want to be with you forever, and even after forever's over. I want to wake every morning to your embrace and wake to your smiling face. I guess, what I'm trying to say, is well… Will you..marry me_?"

I couldn't believe those words came out of his mouth! I jumped on him, knocking him to the soft tiling, and we kissed as he placed the beautiful ring on my finger and we layed on the roof watching the sunset as the sky grew dark, but as out hearts grew light knowing that in the end, everything would be alright, as long as we had eachother.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Zexion: I love you Demyx.

Demyx: I love you too Zexy!

Kisses…._full make-out session… not even going there_

Lisa and Axel: HEY, get a room, the one on the left has video cameras NOT set up, you should go there, winks at readers


	42. April 3rd 2008

Lisa: Holding tape…

Demyx:_ Walks out zipping up his pants…_

Whats that Lisa?

Lisa: Oh, nothing…

* * *

April 3rd 2008 (Demyx)

I am just so happy. I mean, I can't believe he purposed, part of me was kinda thinkin he was just with me so I wouldn't do anything stupid, I mean, I knew he liked me and cared for me, but I didn't completely know that much. I've always loved him that much, since the day he first transferred to my school. So, it's Thursday. Spring breaks almost over, that is so sad. But I guess, when we go back, I can show off this gorgeous ring Zexy got me, I mean, it is so beautiful, he must have saved forever. When Leon and Cloud heard the news, they flipped. In a good way of course. The first thing they did was look at eachother and smile, jaws slightly dropped, and then they grabbed me and gave me a huge hug, telling me they were so happy I'd be officially part of the family. In lieu of recent events, they took us to a beautiful restaurant, and we had an evening full of family, laughter and happiness. I'm glad stuffs turning around for us. We haven't decided on a wedding date yet, we figured sometime this summer before we both start college. We both got accepted to Bethel, and we are both getting jobs this summer plus financial aid that'll cover all the expenses. I am sooo happy right now!

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Demyx: Than why are you smiling like that?

Lisa: O, I'm just helping a friend, tosses tape to Cat, I think you'll enjoy this…

Demyx: blush


	43. April 4th 2008

Lisa: Sigh, I've been so busy lately, with exams and papers, speeches, lab work.

_Sigh_

Roxas: Buck up Lisa, the years almost over

Lisa: I know, I just feel bad, because I've been late on posting quite a bit lately

Axel: No worries, I'm sure everyone understands, but, it's disclaimer time

Pulls out small sheet of paper…

"Lisa does not own us, Square Enix and Disney have all rights to KH and KH2 characters, all Lisa owns is some very disturbing porno tapes of Zexy and Demyx…

Axel: Well, I think that covers it all, come on Roxas, I heard something about the bedroom right behind you… grabs Roxas and leads him out…

Lisa: I love my llife

* * *

April 4th 2008 (Zexion)

We're engaged!!I am just so happy he said yes. I don't know what I would have done if he would have said no. I just love him so much, count the seconds between embraces, minutes between soft kisses, hours between sessions of romance and pure love. I'm kind of sad it's Friday, I mean, Florida has been great. I truly love it down here, warm weather, the beach, just everything is so great. We're actually leaving Sunday so we can get back in time for school. It shouldn't be that hard the rest of the year, I mean, it's our senior year, if anything, I think the teachers feel bad for the four years of more schooling we're about to go through. I'm so glad Demmy and I got accepted to the same college. It's a state college, I'm majoring in Literature and he's majoring in Biology. Well, time to enjoy the last few days of sun and fun!

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: _sly grin_, I just love this so much

_Holds tape, and tosses it to 6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9_

I think this is what you wanted…

Lisa: O Sora, I need you for a moment…


	44. April 5th 2008

Lisa: SORA, WHERES MY PITCHFORK?

Sora: I'll go get it, who didn't post today?

Lisa: One of my favorite House MD stories, I know I'm bad at posting, but it's been THREE WEEKS!

Sora: Here it is, go have fun

* * *

April 5th 2008 (Cloud)

It has been such a good week. Not only have I gotten some much needed time with Leon, but the boys got engaged! I care for them so much, it's as if they were my own children. They have both been through so much lately, and I think, well actually, I know, the only thing that's gotten them through its each other. Today they're actually staying at the beach all day, just each other, a couple of towels and a picnic basket. They remind me of Leon and I when we first met. The only difference is that Leon and I were blessed with accepting parents, Leon's actually tried to kill him when they found out we were dating, he was always dating some blonde chic, just to keep a cover, but then that fateful day Junior year, I asked him out, and I think that's one of the best things I've ever done, but anyway, we adopted Axel from my sister, she didn't believe in abortion and really wasn't ready for a kid. Axel doesn't know that of course, but it doesn't matter. They're all happy. Actually, today, Leon and I are going to the beach as well, just some fun relaxing in the sun. Then, back to work, you know. I'm glad I still write in you, ever since high-school. Leon Time!

Cloud Heart

* * *

Lisa: Awww, so sweet. Love is such a great thing, speaking of, hey Sora, ya wanna go to the movies tonight?

Sora: Sure,

Lisa: I love you Sora, with all my heart, you mean the world to me

_embrace_


	45. April 6th 2008

Roxas: LISA, SORA, WHERE ARE YOU?

_Walks through house…_

_O,_

_Finds them sleeping on the hammock out back_

_Sigh_

They are so cute together, I guess that means I have to give the disclaimer, ok then, Lisa doesn't own KH or KH2, just this story where everyone falls in love, speaking of, wheres my Axel,

O, I see fire over there, and its… purple, great what has he gotten into now?

* * *

April 6th 2008 (Zexion)

I am just so sad its Sunday. I mean, its been the best week ever and now its all coming to a close. We left this morning and arrived back at the house around 9, Demyx stayed the night, we'll tell his parents the news tomorrow, together. Demmykins is so tired, I think he's coming down with a cold, I don't know how, with all the warm weather, but o well, I'll take care of him, as I plan to do for the rest of my life. Till death do us part. At the beginning of the year, things were so bleak, and I've been blessed with a new family, a wonderful lover/fiancée that I cherish to every extent of my living, and a second chance. I think that's all anyone can ever ask for, and I got it all. Well, it's the end of Spring Break, but the beginning of a new life, a happier one, and… SCHOOLS ALMOST OVER!! Well, time to tuck a certain some one in… Nite

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Roxas: AXEL, it's not the fourth of July, youre not a firefighter or a crazy chemist, you have no reason to mess with fire like you do!

Axel: Yes I do, it's pretty, just like you…

Roxas: _blush_

Axel: I mean it, with all my pyro of a heart, you wanna go out for dinner?

Roxas: I'd love too


	46. April 7th 2008

* * *

Lisa: AWGGG!

Sora: Whats wrong?

Lisa: I want school to be over, multiple exams, quizzes, speeches and actual class time, it's killing me.

Sora: _hugs_ It's ok, summers soon!

Lisa: I can't wait!

* * *

April 7th 2008 (Demyx)

OK, so, I normally love school and learning and everything academic and clubs and grades and all, but IAM SO TIRED OF SCHOOL! I mean, the constant barrage of learning and work and no fun all building up in a culmination of a weeks worth of exams after being mentally exhausted from a semester of school is just cruel. Zexy is so tired of school too, well, actually everyone is, the teachers are getting antsy and not giving us as much work which is nice, but still eeerg! At school today when the gang found out about the engagement, well, they flipped, so did my favorite professors, they are all so happy for us. I went home just to tell mom the news, she didn't take it well. Zexy came of course, he actually had to help me get out of the house when she well, flipped out. She started yelling that I was ruining my life and we wouldn't work and she was going to continue when Zexy pulled me out. After the initial dumbstruck feeling I walked back to our new home, his concerned gaze following me as I went to the bathroom. I just sat there for a while, just contemplating. It was just too easy, I mean, if I didn't quit, I never would. So after about 20 minutes, I just went outside grabbing Zexy's smokes and sat my self down. He sat next to me and held me tight just knowing how I felt, because he truly did, and after chainsmoking for a while, we went inside to commence our tiny scrap of a history assignment and watch a movie. All in all, not a bad day, just a long one.

Demyx Iwshe

* * *

Axel: What's she yelling about?

Sora: School, she's ready for summer.

Axel: Well, Lisa, if you really want me too, I can take care of the school for you? _Devious grin_

Lisa: Arson is BAD Axel, didn't you learn from the gymnasium "accident"


	47. April 8th 2008

Lisa: Yay, this story is doing so well, Ii can't believe we're at 72 reviews!!

Sora: that's great

Lisa: and the thing that's better is that this story is dedicated to my beloved reviewer of review **69**.

Sora: I love that number,

Lisa: Me too, so in honor, this story is dedicated to **6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9**!! It is such a magical number.

* * *

April 8th 2008 (Zexion)

Charming Tuesday. Demyx is feeling better, he was pretty shocked his mom took the news that way, he thought she'd be happy for him. I think she is, she's just stressed and I told him that, he's still pretty down though. Of course hes trying not to show it, but I can tell. He was pretty upset earlier in the day, he slipped off and I noticed he went to the counselors, I hope Mrs. Ensuko can help him feel better. To cheer him up, I'm taking him to the movies tonight, I know it's a school night, but I cleared it with Leon and Cloud, they're concerned about him too. Well, off to the movies!!

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

April 8th 2008 (Demyx)

I can't believe my mom went off like that, she was so accepting in the beginning, I just, I don't know. I was feeling a little nauseated earlier and I wasn't feeling good in general so I stopped by the nurses and then dropped by Ms. Ensuko's. I have to admit, I wasn't paying much attention and barged in on her talking to a girl. I started apologizing and made to back out to leave when the girl stood up and smiled at me. She shook my hand and introduced herself as Cat. Ms. Ensuko told me to sit down and we could all just hang out for a little between classes, and we just talked for ever. By the end of the day, I think I made a great friend in Cat, I felt so much better, and… Zexy's taking me to the movies today!

All in all, a pretty good day.

Demyx Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: _dancing 69 69 69_

Zexion: _shakes head_, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa…

Lisa: I need something epic to happen June 9th, so if any of you readers have any ideas, I'd love to hear them


	48. April 9th 2008

Lisa: I know, I know, it's been virtually forever since I've updated, school is EVIL! I've been working till at least 2 each night trying to get all of the work done, three weeks till summer! And I cant wait because…

Sora: I love you Lisa…

Lisa: _blush_…I forgot what I was saying…

* * *

April 9th 2008 (Zexion)

Teachers! They've given us so much homework. It's like their trying to make up for the last month of virtual freedom. We have English papers, science experiments and attached lab reports, a math report? I'm still trying to understand that one and o so much to do. I enjoy the stress somewhat. Demyx on the other hand… I'm worried about him, I know he's firmly quit cutting, I just know it, he'd tell me, but I've been watching him. He's lost a lot of weight, his clothes are getting baggier, and he's not eating any where as much as he needs to. We ordered our graduation gowns today and we were trying them on to see how big we should order them, he's just so small, I'll talk to him later about it. Im just not sure what to say, I hope he's not switching bad habits. I know life isn't the easiest, but I was hoping he'd talk to me if he was having problems. I guess not.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I am such an awful person

Sora: no you're not?

Lisa: Well, I'm just not sure what to have them do, I mean, school is so boring to write about, and I know I might be overburdening them with issues, but, it's something I know about

Sora: Well, as some of the readers pointed out, the wedding should be set for June 9th, and of course, they'll have college, which is way more interesting.

Lisa: I suppose…


	49. April 10th 2008

* * *

Sora: Lisa? Where are you?

Lisa: It's officer Lisa to you Civilian

Sora: I love this game

Lisa: How dare you talk back to an officer, arms where I can see 'em and spread your legs.

Sora: _soft moan_…

* * *

April 10th 2008 (Demyx)

I really don't feel good. My stomach's killing me, I can't concentrate, but I'm nauseated. I know I should eat, but food never sounds good to me at all. I mean, about two months ago, I got totally stressed out and wasn't hungry, not like mum or dad would have any food in the house anyway, so, I guess, I figured logically, not eating was the best thing to do to not start a fight in the household. I mean, well, I know spring break and all, I was worried people would notice, but I wore loose T's lie all the time, said I didn't want sunburn. It worked. But I'm worried. I mean, I don't want to be fat, not at all, maybe Zexy wouldn't like me, I'm afraid. I know it may not seem rational, but just the idea of food anymore, it turns my stomach. What if he doesn't love me anymore, I don't know what I'd do, I'd die, surely, I mean, he's what I was put on this earth for, I think, I don't know, Fuck, I think I'm having a panic attack.

De

* * *

_Moaning continues… followed by… more moaning?_

O Axel

Roxas!

_Zexion walks in_

"That's it, I'm like, personally scarred for life now"


	50. April 11th 2008

Lisa: Well, that was interesting… _blush_

Sora: _zips pants_, definitely interesting

Zexion: more like disturbing if you ask me

Lisa: Don't even go there Zexy, I saw the tape of you and Demmy (20 times at least), and I didn't even know a lot of that was physically possible

Zexy:_ face turns madly red_

* * *

April 11th 2008

I found Demmy last night in his room having an attack of some sort. I really didn't know what to do. I t scared me so much. He couldn't breath. I ran to him and held him as close as possible and rocked him back and forth until he could breathe again. He was mumbling about me not loving him, over and over again, It really startled me, to think, he doesn't think I love him? I love him more than anything in this world, I couldn't survive with out him, and it really caught me off guard. Leon and Cloud weren't home, so I lead him to my bed and held him until his soft sobs quieted and he fell asleep clutching my shirt for dear life. We woke up together, and he seemed completely normal, actually inquired how he ended up in my bed. I'll talk to Cloud later, see what he thinks I should do, I'm really worried about my love, if something were to happen…

Later

I talked to Cloud, at first he eyed me suspiciously like I was seeking help for something I had done… I explained what had happened, he looked worried to say the least, I told him about skipping meals, trying on robes, even his panic attack. He told me he'd watch him over the next day or so, and then we'd decide what to do. Try and figure out how to help him. Because he needs it, and he doesn't realize it, or at least he hasn't told me so. I am so worried.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Now that, that was disturbing, I mean, wow

_Demyx walks in_

What was disturbing?

Zexion: Demmy, come with me… _leads him out of the room_…

Sora: So, Lisa, wanna get to work, I mean… if you want to figure that out…

Lisa: you'll have no objections from me…


	51. April 12th 2008

Loud noises in backround

Axel: Well, since everyone's off, well, poetically enough, getting off, I suppose, I will have to give the disclaimer, after I catch it on fire though…

Roxas: Axel!

Axel: just kidding, _not_

Axel: So, basically, Lisa does not own any of us, just this truly demented story line, _sigh_, Disney and Square Enix, they own us, and do as they wish to us in the games and mangas, but honestly, I prefer what Lisa lets us do… I mean, come on,

* * *

April 12th 2008 (Demyx)

I feel bad, I mean, I didn't mean to have a panic attack, I just couldn't breath. I've noticed the others watching me more closely though, I hate it. I'm just glad it's Saturday, no class, not that I don't have any class work, I've been working practically non-stop for days. Papers, presentations, math, and damned counseling taking up my study time for exams I'm not going anymore. It's ridiculous, so much to do. So much to do…

* * *

April 12th 2008 (Zexion)

I found Demyx passed out on his computer typing a report. I picked him up and carried him to his bed. I'm so worried, I covered him up and kissed him, his poor unconscious self. I got Cloud, told him how I found him, he took a look and said he was ok, just exhausted, and to let him sleep, he really does need it. He's been working until the late hours of the night for over a week. He need sleep, and to eat. He's looking paler by the day. Cloud said, let him sleep now, catch up on rest, and we'll talk to him at dinner tonight, try and get him to eat, or talk about it, or, maybe both.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Continued… (Demyx)

I woke up around 7, I didn't remember falling asleep, I went to dinner with Cloud and Zexy, I couldn't help but notice the passing glances they were exchanging and wonder what I had gotten myself into. I found out when they pulled out the plates in the kitchen and sat me down. They scooped generous portions on all three of our plates, sat and looked at me pleadingly. All I could think was, crap. Zexy looked at me and softly queried, I know you haven't been eating, I just don't know why? I didn't know what to say, I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, as the pair of them stared at me, I just couldn't take this, especially right now. I looked at them as I excused my self, grabbed a pack and left, off to the park. It's not right, am I allowed no vices? I mean, on some days, Zexy practically chain smokes, am I allowed one thing to control? I figure, I'll wait a while, until everyone goes to bed, and then walk back home, to sleep a little and then do more work, I hope I can get it all done.

Demyx Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I'm back _cheerful smile_

Sora: and me too!

_Looks around,_

Unison: why's the kitchen smoking?

_runs_


	52. April 13th 2008

Lisa: I know, I know, just.. just calm down everyone. Extinguish your torches, rest your pitchforks, I'm here with updates.

Zexy: It took long enough

Lisa: Shut up, don't you have some snogging with Demyx to do?

Zexy: _blush_

* * *

April 13th 2008 (Zexion)

It's supposed to be a day of rest? Demyx has been up since before I woke up, I don't know if he ever went to bed. I mean, of course he came back last night, round 2 in the morning, I stayed up to make sure he came back ok. He was still smoking when he came in the house, I don't think Leon or Cloud will mind. I actually talked to Cloud before bed last night. He's worried, I can't blame him, actually, I know exactly how he feels and it's killing me. I'm so happy he stopped self injuring, but anorexia is just as bad if not worse. He's slower at doing school work because I can tell he's having a hard time concentrating. A lot of the time, he's staring into space oblivious and then he slowly drops back into realization and starts working again. He's finished two of his projects, has two left, a book report and he is almost half done with his science experiment. And he's so pale; I can't get over that above all. For lunch, Cloud brought us an indoor picnic basket with food since both of us were working, I have the same amount of work as him yet I'm so much more carefree about it. He wants to be perfect, and I'm afraid it will destroy him. We stopped for lunch, a basket of pb and j sandwiches, lays regular chips and water. He just nibbled at the crust, drank some water and returned back to work, seemingly upset with himself for stopping that long. I really don't know what to do?

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Sora: Now Lisa,

Lisa: WHAT

Sora: _shock_

Calm down, you have me to snog with, whenever you want…

Lisa: well then, we should, say around… nowish?


	53. April 14th 2008

Lisa: **I HATE SCHOOL**

Sora: _nods_

Lisa: I had 6 years of elementary, 6 of high school, now, 4 of college, and then off to med school.

**AAAUG!!**

I need a smoke…

Sora: What Lisa meant to say, c_ough_, was that she doesn't own KH or us for that matter, just this story, which, I must admit is rather angsty…

* * *

April 14th 2008 (Demyx)

I hate school!! I can't get everything done. The projects I managed to get done and the report all got turned in today, but I still have to finish my experiment and accompanying lab report and one more project. I skipped lunch and went to the library to work. It doesn't really matter, I'll eat hen I'm hungry, not before, and right now, I have no inclination to eat whatsoever. But I can't figure it out. I am so tired. I haven't been this tired since last year when I was sick. I keep falling asleep in class, which isn't good and even worse, getting nodded awake by Zexy. I can't figure out why his eyes have looked so pained the lat few days. I hope he didn't start cutting again. He seems in a state of constant worry which worries me, then we both worry. It's not good. But, it does seem all my hard work has payed off. They announced me as the Valedictorian today! I'm so exited. I've been working so hard for years for this. Graduations May 18th, Proms May 3rd, and between the two of them, I have so much to do. I have a speech to write, and I have to get a tux for prom, and get scholarship forms sent in and O so much to do. I just don't know when I'll do it all. I'm getting tired, maybe I'll just take a little nap? Then more work..

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I'm back, and I feel better, minus the 20 billion things I have to do. A lot of my readers have written in, telling about their anger, or better put, rage with school at the moment, I agree whole-heartedly. So, prom, graduation, the wedding, and oh, so many issues, will Demyx get them all done, we shall see…


	54. April 15th 2008

* * *

Lisa: I thouroughly dislike Tuesdays, and Mondays, and I suppose Wednesdays, and well, theres always Thursdays, and Fridays, I guess their ok, just a little though

Sora: We all know you don't like school right now Lisa, _sigh_

Lisa: Not just dislike, despise with every thread of my being, hate with the intensity of a thousand and one burning suns…

Sora: wow

Lisa: Well, maybe not that much…

* * *

April 15th 2008 (Zexion)

We have Friday off thank god. And most of Demyx's projects were due today, they were the last major projects till finals, so he should be ok, at least until mid-May. Finals won't be pretty. Not in the least. He's actually sleeping right now. He started to write in his journal. I'm at least glad he's still writing in it, even if he has stopped going to counseling. He sat on the couch and started to write after school, and well, he didn't even manage to finish dating the top of the page. He plum fell asleep. I lent him over, layed his head on a pillow, and covered him with his favorite blue crochet blanket. He looks so peaceful, so tranquil, how can someone so seemingly laid back and easy going be so stressed over school work. I mean, it's not like this matters? All that matters is knowing the material for college, great, four more years of school. He was announced Valedictorian though, I'm so proud of him. This weekend, we're celebrating, we're all going out for pizza and a movie, maybe he'll eat? Now that most his classes are done minus finals. All there really is left is studying. Finals are the week of the 11th, so, we have some break time. You ever notice, that classes can't assign massive projects at different times, its like they plot against us and consult with each other to plan everything for the same week. I hope college isn't like this. I'm just glad he's resting. He really needs it.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: But, it is a lot.

_Sigh_

Sora: You only have 7 days of school left, I don't wanna here it, I get out the 16th of **MAY.**

Lisa: Sorry, but, it's still irritating

_grumbles_


	55. April 16th 2008

Lisa: It's Wednesday, it's Wednesday!!  
and, I've finally caught up on updating!!

Sora: Finally, took you long enough.

Lisa: I love you too.

_Glare_

Sora: _hugs_

_Mumbles… lazy_

* * *

April 16th 2008 (Demyx)

I'm glad it's Wednesday. It's the middle of the week, Fridays canceled because there were built in snow days, my projects are all done, finally, and turned in. It's great. I went with the gang to eat lunch today. I feel better, now that the stress of constant un-yielding work was done, but I just couldn't eat. I mean, I nibbled, and Zexy watched me closely, I could tell, worry etched in his usually carefree face. My stomach was making me sick. I mean, it's like I knew if I ate, I'd throw up, and I hate throwing up. So, I ate some mashed potatoes, and waited for everyone to finish their meal o we could go back to prom decorations. Ms. Ashama, she's in charge of decorations, wanted everything to be done by the end of the week. Tonight, we're going tux shopping with Leon. It should be fun, and hopefully, I'll fit in a smaller size than last years prom, I think I've lost 12 pounds so far.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I'm all caught up now!!  
dances

Sora: _rolls eyes_, Hey Lisa…

Lisa: yea? _Looks over concerned_

Sora: I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you, you're the ray of sunshine in my day, and with out you, I'd fall into darkness.

Lisa: awwww

_Make-out session_, yay, even if I don't get action in real life, I will always have my alternate fantasy worlds, muahaha (insert even eviler laugh here)


	56. April 17th 2008

Lisa: And finals have started…

Zexy: At least you'll be done with school soon, I'm not done till next month _sigh_

Lisa: I'm just worried about my Chem final… **AAAG!**

Zexy: Well, while you freak about your finals, I suppose I'll give the disclaimer, Lisa doesn't own any of the characters, Square Enix and Disney are almighty and control all rights to us, while treating us as slaves, Lisa solely owns this weird plot line saturated with angst

Lisa: Hey, that's a chemistry term!

Zexy:_ sigh_

* * *

April 17th 2008 (Zexion)

Well, tux shopping didn't go as good as planned. Leon picked us up after school and we went to the shop, and all was fine, Demyx was smiling and everything, but then they went to measure us and Demyx was so small. I think his waist has shrunk, his ribs were clearly visible, it just made me sick. Why can't he see how beautiful he is? I mean, I love him to death, no matter how he looks. I was measured for my tux, I picked a black one, thought it would suit me better than white, Demy picked a black one too, but they had to get him one of the smallest suits they had and even then then had to alter it to make it smaller. Leon looked shocked, but quickly whipped away his expression in turn for one of someone deep in thought. I think he's trying to figure it out. We paid and left, Demyx smiling as much as ever. I wonder if he knows what he's doing to himself?

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Poor Demyx, can't he see he's already beautiful the way he is

Sora: I'm sure Zexy can fix it all, I mean, he's pretty good at that

Lisa: I hope so, I'm worried about him…


	57. April 18th 2008

Lisa: I know, I know, once again, I've fallen terrible behind, I can't help it, once summer starts, after next week, I will be at all of your disposals, for now, I'm writing between class and study breaks

Sora: I brought you a friend to cheer you up, want a hint?

Lisa: who?

Sora: He brought works plumbing stuff and aluminum…

Lisa: AXEL!! And he brought everything to make a bomb!

_Happiness_

* * *

April 18th 2008 (Demyx)

I'm so glad it's Friday! We went tux shopping yesterday and everything went great. I managed to lose 3 inches from my waist, and now I'm in a small. The decorations are all ready for prom, and I just can't wait, it'll be magical. The undersea theme and just being with Zexion, I am so exited. Tonight, Zexy thought I needed a night off from all the chaos, I told him I was fine, so we're going roller skating with the guys. Then afterwards, we're going home to watch Juno, it looks like a great movie. Well, off to get ready to skate!

Demyx

* * *

_Loud explosion_

_More, smaller explosions followed by laughter_

Lisa: I hope Mr. Rickman doesn't need his mailbox anymore…

_Laughs_

Axel: Well, he can have the two scraps of it that are left I suppose…

Zexy: _shakes head_

What am I going to do with you two?

Lisa: Mrs. Jenkins doghouse?

Axel: lets go!


	58. April 19th 2008

Lisa: Well, that didn't go over the best…

Axel: the cops thought it was funny, doesn't get any better than that

Lisa: true, true, and I suppose, at least we're not in trouble, just a new mailbox…

And doghouse…

And tree house…

We're screwed…

Axel: _sigh_, but wasn't that last explosion fun!

Lisa: totally!

* * *

April 19th 2008 (Zexion)

I knew skating wasn't a good idea. Not at all. And I tried to talk him out of it, so many times. He obviously wasn't up for that, and I knew it and he wouldn't listen. And now he's stuck in bed, and he might miss school and freak out even more. We went to the rink, and he was ok at first, but he got tired really fast, and about half an hour in I told him we should go home and watch a movie, but he said he was ok, and not even two minutes later, he fell over, I thought he passed out, but he didn't, just fell over. I ran over to him, and after assessing that he was ok, I picked him up and carried him home, laying him on the sofa, his quiet requests to put him down and that he was ok, the entire way home. Everyone was gone of course, Leon and Cloud had a date, Axel was skating and I told him I'd be ok. So I'm home, with a week and emaciated Demyx. I sat next to him, after getting him some mashed potatoes and water, and we watched Juno in silence, knowing full well, we'd have to talk when the movie was over. It was a great movie; I really loved it, and after it was over, dreaded, the conversation that would ensue. I looked at him and he started crying right off the bat and mumbling over and over again that he was sorry. I held him until his sobs ceased and body just shook with worry and concern. I lifted his chin and told him that I loved him, and no matter what, I'd be there for him. I held him and told him that I wanted him to start eating again. He started to pull back, and I held him tight and asked one simple question: Why do you think you're overweight? To which he started crying again. I felt awful, knowing what he was going through. He held onto me for the longest time, until II realized that he had fallen asleep. And there I lay too, holding the one person that meant more to me than life, and that at that moment, I was more worried about than anything ever before. I hope he's going to be ok

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Sora: Is that out of your system now Lisa?

Because, I don't know how many more explosions I can take, _sigh,_

Lisa: I love you Sora, so so much

Sora: I love you too sweetie, just, well, try not to blow anything important up, like me…

Lisa: Of course not


	59. April 20th 2008

Sora: Lisa…? Can I ask you something…

Lisa: _looks over concerned_, Of course

Sora: _drops to one knee_

Will you marry me? Every moment with you is happier than the next, every second just makes me realize all over again why I love you…

Lisa: Of course I'll marry you, I love you so much…

* * *

April 20th 2008 (Demyx)

I don't know what to do, I'm worried to death. He knows, for certain now, and its not like I don't want to eat, its just that I can't. My body's rebelling against me and I don't know what to do. Everyone in the house is keeping a constant watch on me, like their afraid I'll faint again. I'm ok, I just I don't know, I don't know. I mean, Zexy is naturally thin, he eats and eats and sometimes, loses weight. It's not fair. I'm afraid my clothes won't fit, that Zexy will think I'm fat and leave me, that the world will crumble beneath my feet and I'll be the sole casualty.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Axel: Can I throw up now; this is a little too sappy for me.

Roxas: I think it's sweet, maybe you could learn a thing or two.

Axel: _ponders_…


	60. April 21st 2008

_Axel walks in straight up to Roxas…_

_And pulls a giant bouquet of red roses_

Axel: Roxas, to imagine one day with out you, is the most heart breaking thing I can imagine. And if I ever lost you, I don't know what I'd do, but to help guarantee you'll be there is…well…to ask for your hand in marriage?

Roxas: _faints_

Axel: great…

Sora: That means we can double marry right?

* * *

April 21st 2008 (Zexion)

Well, proms in two weeks, graduations in about a month, and we still haven't set a date to get married yet, it'll probably be this summer, but I'm not sure if Demy can handle the stress of all of this. He's eating a little bit more, but still not enough to sustain him, he's constantly pale, the smallest exertion weakens him, and I'm just so worried about my love. I don't know what I'd do with out him and the mere thought scares me. I just love him so much. Class today was pretty easy, all of our final projects were already due, so we're having a couple of weeks to relax, finish scholarship forms, and get ready for graduation. Tonight, I'm planning a movie night with just me and Demyx, we'll snuggle up, enjoy a flick, and perhaps some 'tension relief' will ensue… But for now, art class.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

_Roxas wakes in Axels arms and smiles_

Roxas: of course I'll marry you, I've been waiting for so long, I I though you didn't…

Axel: what? Love you that way, that much, you can't ever question my love for you, it's the one thing that keeps this pyro grounded, and I do love you, so so much


	61. April 22nd 2008

Lisa: Well, my dear readers, I hate to do this, but after this chapter, I'll be gone for a couple weeks, Finals…

Sora: **NOOOOOOO!**

Lisa: I know, I know, but I have to study, and summers in a week and a half, so then I can write more and update more often…

I'm sorry everyone…

_Tear_

* * *

April 22nd 2008 (Demyx)

I am so under-motivated. I have a few simple quizzes at the end of the week and I can't concentrate, or anything. I have to keep my grades up to be at the top of my class, and I can't focus. Zexy's noticed, and of course, he's concerned. I love him to death, but worrying about him worrying about me, well, it isn't exactly the best thing in the world. But, time to crack down and study!

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I know, I know, it's really really short. I have a bio practical tomorrow though that I have to study for, I hope all of your academic pursuits are fruitful, and I shall be back in 2 weeks!

Love,

Lisa


	62. April 23rd 2008

Lisa: I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back. FINALS, EERGH.

Sora: Lisa, calm down, jeesh, the semesters over already

Lisa: I know I know, so, how has everyone been? Did all your finals go well?

Oh, and I'd also like to thank blitzkriegdemolitiongirl for her review, I was considering ending the Journal, but she gave me inspiration to continue.

April 23rd 2008 (Zexion)

I'm so worried about Demyx. It's Wednesday, and right now, he's passed out on the couch, text book in hand, computer on lap, and notes scattered everywhere. We don't even have anything to study! He said he wanted to be ready for finals, which start the 12th, but he should be relaxing like the rest of the senior class, it's been a long year and he's worked twice as hard as the rest of us. Not only that, but when I went to the bathroom a few minutes ago, I found a blade in the trash can covered in blood with a bunch of tissues covering it. I wouldn't have noticed had the tissues been covered in blood as well. Maybe that's why he fell asleep. I'm like really worried right now. He means the world to me and I just don't know what to do. I figure I'll talk to him about it tonight because he's so pale, unnaturally so, a lack of eating and if he's cutting again. Alone, both of those are awful, but together I just screaming for death. I wonder if he wants to die. Honestly, it seems he's bent on self-destruction, and I don't know how much more his poor body can take. I just hope, I can get to him before something bad happens, well, worse than whats already happened.

Zexion Iwshe

Lisa: Yeah, I know the angst is so thick you could cut it with a razor blade, no pun intended.

It's just so sad what people do, but Sora…

Sora: Yes love

Lisa: I love you, forever and ever.

Sora: About that, umm… we need to talk…

Lisa: tears streamed down her cheeks… Is something wrong?

Sora: I… well…I met someone…


	63. April 24th 2008

Once again, I'm sorry this is taking so long, I've been pretty sick the last four days, and honestly, haven't been in the mood to do anything, besides the masses of yardwork returning home brings… I'm really not sure what to do with this story, in my absence, we all missed out on there prom night, so I don't want to just skip to now, sigh, but that leaves quite a few chappies to write… Ideas anyone?

Lisa: tears streamed down her cheeks as she realized that her one love had found someone new

Who is it?

Sora: His names… Riku…

Lisa: Well, I hope you two are very happy together storms off

Sora: Lisa…

* * *

April 24th 2008 (Demyx)

Ii tried to quit, I really did, it's just that nothing makes sense anymore. I feel a weird sense of weakness, but, I suppose that just means my diets working. I suppose, with blood loss, I'll lose weight too, and feel better. I mean, just the idea of fat clinging to my frame makes me sick, and in turn, I lose all appetite. Which in itself is great. But I've noticed, that I've grown an obsession to Youtube, I'm constantly watching 'cutting awareness' videos, just to see other people doing that, and that I'm not alone. I mean, I know that Zexy's probably disappointed that I'm cutting again. I suppose I'll have to quit. I don't think he knows, but ya never know, I mean, he can be pretty perceptive. I guess, I quit. Saying is easier than doing, but I can do it. Concentrating on my diet will take my focus off anyway.

Time to smoke, and study

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Loneliness, everyone in this fic is paired up, and as always, I'm left out, I need someone who won't be taken from me by a character in a video game…

A strange guy walks up

Guy: Why do you look so sad, a beautiful girl like you, you should be happy

Lisa: o my alla he's hot!

Umm…it's a long story, but my boyfriend just broke up with me

Guy: Well, it's his loss… and maybe my gain

Do you want to go to dinner with me?

Lisa: I'd love too


	64. April 25th 2008

Lisa: wow, hes so adorable, we spent the evening together, beautiful restaurant, he got me a boquet of my favorite flowers, and when he walked me home, the sweetest kiss.

Lisa: He is so sweet, and his name is...

* * *

April 25th 2008 (Zexion)

I found his food diary. He's not eating, He's frustrated when he does eat something. He wrote that he's lost twenty pounds so far. He's at 100, that's not good at all. He wrote that he feels his body's revolting against him, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't eat. He mentioned not wanting to be too big for his tux, proms in 8 days. I'm just worried I suppose. I talked to Leon, he said if we take him to a hospital, he'll have extensive rehab, and would have to repeat senior year. That might put him over the edge. I worry about my sweet angel, he probably doesn't know it, but he means the world to me. I'm gping to talk to him tonight, he needs help, and I think, and part of me hopes, I'll be the only one he'll listen to. I hope he listens, so much, I want him to be okay, and love himself and life.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Luxford, He is so sweet…

Axel: Sigh, all he does is play cards,

Lisa: I love cards!


	65. April 26th 2008

Lisa: I am just soo happy!

Axel: ??

Lisa: Dear Journal is over 100 reviews and it's all thanks to my beautiful readers!

This particular chapter is dedicated to reviewer 100, and that would be…drumroll please…BrokenAnzaran!!

I'd like to thank-you all so much, not only for keeping me going, but giving me input, and telling me funny stories, every review is so special to me.

And someone else that's special to me… Luxford…

* * *

April 26th 2008 (Demyx)

I don't know what to do. Zexy pulled me aside last night and had a talk. I hated it. He pulled me close and looked into my eyes, and said he found my food journal. Part of me initially was afraid that he knew, and the other part of me was angry he invaded my privacy. He looked at me and told me he wanted to know what I was thinking. To give myself a chance to explain my actions, or inaction. And he mentioned that he found a blade in the bathroom. I just didn't know what to do. I love him so much, I could see the pain, hurt and worry etched in his features, and it broke my heart. I hate it when people worry, I don't deserve it, I never have, and it just feels weird. I can't do anything right, no matter how hard I try, and the one thing I seemed to be doing right, losing weight, from my obese frame, he doesn't approve. I don't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. I stuttered for a moment, and couldn't quell the flow of silent tears that streaked down my face as I tried to make a response to my lover. He grasped my hands and pulled me tight and whispered in my ear how much he loved me, no matter how I looked, and I never had to worry about telling him anything. I love him to death, but I don't want to subject him to my grotesque body. He deserves more. After an hour of sitting in his grasp, I started to calm down and I looked at him and said just that. What if he left me for someone skinnier? He looked at me and chuckled and told me that he'd never leave me for anyone, skinny, fat, ugly, pretty, said I was the cheese to mis macaroni, and at that I couldn't help but laugh. He told me everything would be okay, and tonight, he'd like me to try and eat something, and just as an incentive, he is going to take me for Chinese. I wasn't very hungry, actually, not hungry at all, but for him, I'll try anything.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Luxford: Lisa, would you like to go out for Chinese tonight?

Lisa: How did you know?

Luxford: You've been staring at the little can of chowmein for an hour with that longing look…

Lisa: Let's go!


	66. April 27th 2008

* * *

Axel: Well, while those two are off gallivanting around, I suppose I shall give the disclaimer

Roxas: or… you can come 'disclaim me'

Axel: I just… what was I doing?

Roxas: me, you pyro, now, looks around, where are the handcuffs?

* * *

April 27th 2008 (Zexion)

Well, I'm feeling better, the talk went better than I thought, and I managed to get Demykins to eat a little last night. Not much mind you, but enough to quell my worries, well for the time being. I love him so much. I must admit, the last few days have been taxing. I've been going through a pack a day, I know that Leon's worried about me, and he came out worried and talked to me last night after I tucked Demyx in. I told him I'm fine, just a little worried. He nodded in response, and asked me to cut down on smoking a little bit, if only for him. I agreed, just a few a day. It's just, they keep me grounded, allow me to calm down and mellow out. But nonetheless, I can see where he's coming from, it's an expensive habit, and unhealthy at that. So, 6 days till prom! I can't wait.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Roxas: moans softly OHHH Axel

Axel: yes, my love slave

Roxas: I love you

Axel: I love you too

Roxas: next time, can I be a maid, instead of a criminal?

Axel: Only if I can be the duster that deflowers you, over, and over…


	67. April 28th 2008

* * *

Luxford: I'm thoroughly confused

Lisa: giggles

Luxford: care to fill me in, why was he wearing THAT?

Lisa: the things people do in love

Luxford: would you even wear a maid outfit for me?

Lisa: Well…leads to back room…

* * *

April 28th 2008 (Demyx)

I know, I know, I'm awful. How could I let Zexy find out about my diet. And prom, it's in 5 days! What am I going to do? There is so much to get ready, how we're going to get there, picking up out tux's, just so much too do. Zexy's not helping at all, he just said don't worry about it, and he's been off all day. I'm curious what he's doing. I've been left alone, Leon and Cloud are at the movies, Axels, well, doing Roxas. I'm bored, and left in my solitariness to mull in my thoughts. I hate long bouts of time just thinking, it's depressing. I just think of all the bad in the world, and how I've contributed so much too it. That's why I can't eat, I don't deserve it, not in the least, I suppose I'll put on an act, eat in front of everyone else. I suppose I can start purging, then they can stop worrying. I love them all, and it's not like I'm asking for death, just accepting my punishment for who I am. Proms in FIVE days, so much to do, so much to do.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Larxene: Where'd all these French maid outfits come from? And why don't I have one?

Marluxia: I think we can fix that, we just have to stop by my closet and… whispers proposition

Larxene: Ohhh, you sexy beast you


	68. April 29th 2008

Sounds of moaning and pounding emanate throughout the house…

…

…

…

* * *

April 29th 2008 (Zexion)

I can't wait, Prom is in 4 days, and everything is perfect. I made reservations at a Chinese restaurant for the back room with candles and the whole deal. I know it's not fancy, but I also know that Demy isn't big on food right now and Chinese is all he's really in the mood for, and I suppose, I love Chinese just as much as he does. I hope he likes it. Well, that's the third part of the evening I suppose. The first part is I picked up our tux's, picked out the boutonnieres, special ordered a bouquet of Demyx's favorite red roses to be delivered half an hour before the second part of out night picks us up. That way, when he's stressin about looking perfect, the flowers will come and remind him, that no matter what he will be beautiful. The second part as hinted is a limo. What Demykins doesn't know is that my uncle is a limo driver, who promised as my birthday present, that he'd drive for my senior prom. And after prom, Axel and Roxas are going to Roxas's place, he's an only child, and his parents want them there. The house is left to me and Demmy. I picked out his favorite movie, bought chocolates and gourmet popcorn and afterwards, I also pre-ordered rose pedals and scented candles for my, our bed. We haven't been completely intimate with eachother, and I hope, prom night will be the night. I love him so much, and I just want to show him how wonderful he truly is.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: wow… Luxford

Luxford: dressing… why is there so much noise coming from around the house?

Lisa: thinks… O, umm, you don't want to know…


	69. April 30th 2008 and CHAPTER 69!

Lisa: wow guys, all assembled in the living room, I love your outfits!

Luxford: They have been doing unforeseeable acts in your house and you compliment their outfits

Lisa: Of course? We look amazing, or so I thought

Luxford: Well, I think your beautiful…sweeps off feet… and to prove this too you, let's go break in your outfit a little more

Axel: Roxas, care to follow in their example?

Roxas: do you really need to ask?

Larxene: shrieks, Marluxia, have you nothing to say?

Marluxia: I'm sorry, but your outfit, it took my breath away.

Larxene: Aww, come here, and help me take this little old thing off…

* * *

April 30th 2008 (Demyx)

So, I've lost 2 more pounds the last couple days. I think my plans working, they think I'm eating again, and I hate being deceitful, but I don't want to ruin prom, just 3 more days, I can't wait, but I/m still freaking out about what's going to happen, I have a feeling, Zexy and I will finally sleep together, I hope, I've slept with him, but no sex, battling tongues, touching, but still no sex. I'm a little nervous, actually, I'm really nervous, I've never had sex before, I mean, I know Zexy hasn't either, but he's more sure of himself, I just, I'm afraid it will hurt. I suppose I'm freaking about nothing, I don't know, I guess I'll find out the 3rd.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Sora and Riku walk in

In unison: What's going on here?

Muffled moans…


	70. May 1st 2008

Ok, well, I've gotten a few complaints amongst the reviews about spelling errors, I'm truly sorry, I suppose I was spending so much time trying to catch up on the story, I forgot to read them through, you can all be assured that from now on, I'll check the chapters over. And, thanks again for the lovely reviews, they all made me smile!

Lisa: By the sound of it, everyone's having a good time.

Luxford: Of course they are, and thanks to 6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9, it's all being taped, can you say high-definition

Lisa: _giggles_, I love this house

* * *

May 1st 2008 (Zexion)

Well, everything's set for prom, and I am so exited, it's Thursday, and we got the day off tomorrow, it was supposed to be a snow make-up day but we didn't have any snow days, so the school thought we could all use a day to relax, and for the girls like Larxene to get their hair done and have their nails painted with excruciating detail. I can tell that Demyx is just as exited, if not more exited about prom than me. There's something off about him though. I can't pinpoint it, not yet anyway. He's hiding something from me, and I have a feeling it's bad. I love him so much, and I trust that he'll come to me when he's ready to talk about it. He's so pale, I mean he was already, but now he seems a shade of almost pure white, well except the dark circles constantly deepening in shade beneath his eyes. It plagues me with worry every moment of the day, every second of the night. Even I am having a difficult time eating, concentrating, hell, even sleeping for that matter, worrying that my sweet angel will be taken away from me. I watch him breathe at night hoping each breath won't be his last, every beat of his heart, as precious to me as life itself. I just hope he will be ok, and trust to talk to me about whats going on.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: So, theres the tape from Sora and Riku's room, they gave a new spin to 'twister'

… and the one from Larxene and Marluxia's room, they ransacked the fridge before they started, and lets just say theres whipped cream and doughnuts everywhere

… and the one from Axel and Roxas's room, I didn't know that was physically possible…

… And of course, theres Zexy and Demyx, they had the bathroom, interesting choice, I know, but you know Demyx, waters his thing, those two together, well, you'll all have to watch the tape…

Luxford: Wow, and then there our tape…

Lisa: no one wants to see that silly


	71. May 2nd 2008

Lisa: I'm so far behind on all the fics sob

Luxford: It's ok, you only have 14 more days to catch up

Lisa: two weeks!

Luxford: you could look at it this way, you have multiple videos that you've made lately, the readers would probably love to watch those

Lisa: I suppose so…

* * *

May 2nd 2008 (Demyx)

I've lost three more pounds! I think Zexy's starting to worry though. I hate it when he worries. I had gym today, and I felt so short of breath, it took me forever just to finish the mile. I borrowed some of Larxenes cover-up and it covers a lot of the dark circles under my eyes. I have to buy some tonight to start wearing, no matter how much sleep I get, I can't get rid of these circles. I am so exited though. I've been looking forward to prom forever. Zexy told me everything's ready, and I can't wait. I'm just worried that something bad will happen tomorrow night, Zexy deserves the perfect night so much, I just hope I can give it too him.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Well, tomorrows prom, not for me of course, I'm just a lowly college student who probably couldn't afford a dress in the first place, but tomorrow, we shall see what happens…


	72. Prom May 3rd 2008

* * *

Lisa: drumroll… and the moment you've all been waiting for, prom night. I've been trying to figure out how to write this one. I figure I'll keep the same journal format but it'll be bits of both Zexion's and Demyx's journal intermingled. I hope you all like it!...

Warnings: anorexic thoughts, yaoi (guy on guy), com'on they deserve it

* * *

May 3rd 2008 (Zexion)

He has no idea. I can't keep my excitement at bay. Leon just picked up the tux's and we're both getting dressed in opposite sides of the house, the boutonnieres came as well, so we figure we'll both get ready and then meet to see how we look. I can't wait!...

* * *

May 3rd 2008 (Demxy)

The suits came and they're perfect, mines a little big, but otherwise, it's beautiful. The flowers for out tux's, the boot thingy's, Zexy pick out white roses dyed a magnificent blue with white and blue sparkling frost over the tips. Our under shirts are white and with the black over-coats, it's perfect. I can't wait to see Zexy, we separated to surprise each other when we were ready. I hope I don't look awful. Tonight, for the first time, it looks like my dieting has payed off; I feel thinner, maybe I'll feel better the thinner I am? Before, I go see Zexy, straighten my flower, fix my bowtie, that's what I picked out, and put the cover-up under my eyes, I'm so exited, I have no idea what tonight has in store for us…

* * *

(Zexy)

He is so beautiful, in every single way, I saw him and rushed over and pulled him into a deep meaningful kiss, I love him so much. I know I write that a lot, but I mean it, and by saying it, I feel like it means so much more. I'm about to leave, check on the reservations, let Demmy finish getting ready, always takes him forever, but I love it, and the flowers should be here any minute, I hope he likes them…

* * *

(Demyx)

Zexy left to check on some things, which is good I suppose, I'm kinda nervous as to what all he has planned, I'm really exited too though… Oh my gawd, I just answered the door and there was a guy standing there with the biggest bouquet of roses I've ever seen. Their just like the flowers on our tux's, white-dyed-blue with beautiful sparkling white-blue frost on the tips. They are so beautiful. Well, 7:30, time to leave, I wonder whos driving us? Maybe Leon…

* * *

(Zexy)

His face, it was priceless. He walked outside to see who was driving and a giant black limo was sitting just outside the drive. I was standing just outside the door and grasped his hand as he came off the 

landing. He just looked at me and smiled. I love it when he smiles; he doesn't do it nearly enough. I helped him into the limo, and off to the next surprise, his favorite restaurant…

* * *

(Demyx)

Chinese! He knows I love it. I'm a mixture of happy and worried. The limo was a big surprise; I wonder how much money Zexy put into tonight. It's all wrapping together so nicely and we haven't gotten to the actual prom yet. I want to eat to show that he's doing such a wonderful job, but I'm not hungry at all. I'm just glad it's a buffet. I think Zexy planned for me not being that hungry so I could eat as much as I want at the buffet. He is so thoughtful. I suppose I can eat some chicken and rice…

* * *

(Zexy)

Tonight's turning out great so far, I could see that Demmy was nervous about dinner, but I think the buffet was a good idea. No pressure, I just want him to have a good evening, and after the food, the actual dance!

* * *

(Demyx)

Tonight is going so wonderfully. The decorations are beautiful. I love the under-the-sea theme, and there are clear bubble balloons, everything's shades of seaweed green and ocean blue with gorgeous table covers and the dance floor is a shade of cerulean. There are streamers and the party favors are wine glasses with bubble work and frames for our pictures with all sorts of aquatic life. I love this, and seeing it all brings it all together. All of our friends are here all ready, wearing an assortment of blue, black and white suits and Larxene's pale sea foam green dress with blue trim. We walked in and it all hit me, tonight is going to be perfect, I know it.

* * *

(Zexy)

The decorations turned out nice. When we walked in, you could see Demyx's eyes flittering about looking from detail to detail trying to absorb every bit of it. The pale blue light focusing in and out on his pale complexion was beautiful in itself, so while he's trying to see everything, I'm trying to absorb every detail about him. Tonight's his night, time to dance.

* * *

(Demyx)

Zexy grasped my hand after we got settled in at our table with the gang, and led me onto the dance floor. They were playing When I Fall in Love, and he pulled me close as we started slow dancing. The look in his eyes, he was so happy, and I know how he feels. He embraced me, and I could smell the cologne, just lightly misted. I love that smell, it means I'm close to my love, and therefore, it's one of the happiest smells in the world. I know that sounds weird, but it makes me so happy.

* * *

(Zexion)

The night is moving so quickly, the dance is already half-way over. I haven't done many of the fast dances, but sat watching my love bounce around, smile and have fun. I'm so glad the nights going so well, every slow dance found us dancing together, just imagining we were the only ones in the world, enjoying the night and every moment together. It will be sad tomorrow, when the nights over.

* * *

(Demyx)

So sad, it's the last song, Don't Wanna Miss a Thing by Aerosmith. I actually shed a few tears, on the dance floor, me and Zexy, it was perfect. The perfect evening, the perfect date, just perfect, in every way. We danced the last song, oblivious to everyone and everything around us, just enjoying the last dance of our senior year, and the last dance to a perfect night. He held me tight, slowly turning to the rhythm of the song, and as it ended, we continued dancing, regardless of the DJ packing up, or our friends saying good-bye as they left to finish off their evening. When we finally stopped dancing, He grasped my hand once again and led me to the table; we gathered our favors and left for the limo. Time to go home, I wonder who all will be there?

* * *

(Zexion)

Everything's going as planned. He doesn't expect the house to be empty, or anything I have in store. The night is going perfectly and that last dance, it was beautiful. Perfect in every way imaginable. I hope the rest of the night goes as well…

* * *

(Demyx)

Wow, that's all I can say. We got to the house and Zexy sprung on me that he got it free for the night. Everyone's gone! I walked in and my favorite movies were on the table, gourmet popcorns of every variety on the table as well, and all my favorite chocolates, and sour gummy worms! He knows they're my favorite, and he got every color. We snuggled on the couch and watched the movie; I even ate my fair share of snack food tonight. Too great a night to worry about it, I can worry tomorrow. Half way through the movie, I had to use the rest room, so Zexy said he was going outside to smoke, I told him I'd be right out when I was done, and we sat outside looking at the starts for a while until I started to shiver, and he looked at me and smiled as he lit another cigarette as he placed his jacket over my small frame, to help keep me warm. We stayed out a little warmer, taking in the fresh air and then we went in to finish the movie, but not after he picked me up bridal style and carried me inside. I felt quite subconscious of my weight, I hope I 'm not too heavy for him. After the movie, Zexy asked me to put it back in the DVD case, as I did so, a note fell out. It said in Zexy's neat script to look behind the couch and follow the rose petals.

* * *

(Zexy)

He got the note, the plan so far has gone without flaw. He's following the petals to the bath, the candles are all lit, and the scented bath water is the perfect temperature. He looked at me smiling, uncertain as to what was going on, and I winked at him as I gently pulled him close and whispered in his ear that we were very dirty boys and a bath would be perfect to fix this problem. He leaned into me and grasped my chin. As he lowered it we kissed, which went from soft and gentle to fierce as we began to remove each others clothes, enjoying the sight of our bodies becoming more and more exposed until every bit of us was out in the open and we laughed as we jumped into the bath…

* * *

(Demyx)

Our bath together was so much fun. We enjoyed the smell of the candles mingling with the soft smell of the scented bath water mixed with the hot bath water and hotter bodies. We lay together enjoying the mere presence of each other which turned to a game of toughing and frisking until finally, we pulled the plug, dried off and followed the petals to what I had a feeling would be Zexy's room, or our room.

* * *

(Zexy)

After our bath, which was one of most fun and sensual things we've ever done together, we headed down my trail of petals to our final destination of the evening. Our room. As we approached the door-way, I picked him up once again, and for the second time of the night, my stomach plummeted as I felt how light he was, not even a hundred pounds, that would be taken care of in the morrow, tonight is supposed to be about fun. I carried him to the bed and playfully tossed him onto the covers, yet again covered in rose petals. He looked at me, the biggest grin on his face, and yet a part of me could tell he was a little worried. I lay next to him and pulled him close reassuring him that everything would be alright. I kissed him and…

* * *

(Demyx)  
He kissed me after cuddling for a little bit, which turned into a full make out session led to one of the most amazing experiences of my life. We still were naked, and as we continued kissing, our normally clothed skin and flesh rubbed against each other causing our members to fully erect. The feeling of each other strong and hard against the others thigh was enough to leave us moaning slightly. I was still a little nervous, but I knew that Zexy wouldn't hurt me. After a little while of contact, Zexy brought his hand up and grabbed a small bottle off the side desk, I couldn't see what it was but then he rubbed a small amount on his fingers and rubbed them until he protruded a small hole in my rear, he continued until he had three fingers going. I t was an interesting feel, and as I grew even harder, if possible, he rolled me over gently. He whispered in my ear as he leant on top of me and whispered in my ear if I was ok with this. At the same time of course he ground his hips into mine and I couldn't help moaning for more. He slowly entered and this amazing feeling took hold of my body. Never felt anything like it and I couldn't help but let out a gasp of the utmost pleasure. He began slowly thrusting in and out and I swear I could see stars, it felt so amazing. I could feel my member beneath me screaming for more as the thrusts came closer together and harder, until both of us released at the same moment and found ourselves laying next to each other hand in hand, reliving the events of the evening, completely content in the sweat and lust filled covers that had brought us that one step closer together. I nestled closer to Zexy and soon …

* * *

(Zexy)

Tonight was amazing, in so many ways, I'd love to talk about them, but for now, I have my love snuggled in my arms asleep after what I hope was a good day for him, and I have every intention of joining him in the world of sleep. Being snuggled next to him is the best feeling in the world, and I hope I can be with him for the rest of our lives, till death do us part…

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: wow, it's done, and quite long too, I hope you all like it.

There may be some errors, but I tried, and I hope you all Review!


	73. May 4th 2008

Axel: I love fire

Lisa: I know, but that was no reason to catch my room contract on fire!

Axel: It wasn't on purpose, just kinda got in the way…

Lisa: sigh

* * *

May 4th 2008 (Demyx)

Last night was perfect. Every detail, well, I'm kind of disappointed in myself for eating, but I had to, to keep my cover. The make-up's working wonderfully too. We woke up, me resting in Zexy's arms, and we smiled at each other, I looked into his eyes and told him how wonderful last night was. He grinned, and pulled me closer, I love him so much, I don't know what I'd do with out him. Today's plans are to hang around the house, watch some more movies we didn't get through last night, and maybe some more fun… if you know what I mean. That was the most amazing thing ever; I couldn't believe it felt so good, I mean, a level I've never reached before. I can't wait to try that again. I suppose the next big thing to look forward too is graduation, oh my god, my speech, I forgot to start working on my speech, graduation's the 18th, two weeks from now, deep breathe, okay, I have today off, I'm sure that Zexy won't let me work anyway, then, speech time.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: So, I've been reading reviews from the last few chapters, there was a request for more angst, and I can tell you, that perked me right up, but not just any angst, hard core Zexy angst, I think I can do that, of course, I'm looking for ideas of new things to befall our tragic hero?


	74. May 5th 2008

Lisa: So, my goal is to get caught up by graduation, not mine, lol, Demyx and Zexy's my silly readers.

Luxford: Well, you figure out any new plot twists?

Lisa: Maybe…_ evil grin…_

* * *

May 5th 2008 (Zexion)

I need to talk to Demyx, he's been working on that bloody speech non-stop. He only stopped for school, and he's even working on it between classes. I haven't seen him eat since prom night either. I mean, he nibbles a little at mealtimes, but it's just for appearances, I can tell. He hasn't slept since prom either, We'll have a big talk tonight, he needs to be healthy, and happy, I don't know what I'd do if I lost him, he means more to me than anything, and I'll do anything to get him better.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: The big talk, I wonder what will happen?

I know these few chapters are short, but please have mercy, I want to get caught up so I can focus on one chapter a day, trust me, they'll get better.


	75. May 6th 2008

* * *

Lisa: So, time for the big talk, now, this is important.

When a man and a woman love each other very much…

Axel: Umm… Lisa, hate to stop your parade, but as evidenced by the Cloaked Nocturnes tapes, we all know that talk…

Lisa: _blush_…O yea…

* * *

May 6th 2008 (Demyx)

Zexion pulled me aside today, told me how worried he was. He told me he knew I was losing weight, still, even after our first talk, and he noticed I wasn't eating. He held me tight and told me he didn't want to lose me. He told me he'd prefer me to be fat than under weight. At that I cried, I am so afraid of being over weight, obese, fat, grotesque, and at that, I broke down, and dropped to my knees and I couldn't breathe, I just, my chest felt so tight. He paled so visibly, yet all I could concentrate on was my lack of breathe, how could this happen, I don't want to be fat, but I don't want t o die, was one worth the other. He lifted me and placed me on his bed, concern still etched across his face. I slowly felt blackness come over me, yet my breathing eased, and I fell asleep.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Well, that didn't go over well

Luxford: But you know, that happens, that's why people need to eat, Lisa

Lisa: sigh, how little people understand, well, the next chapter will hopefully add some angst to Zexy's character, read on my lovelies


	76. May 7th 2008

Lisa: Well, that didn't turn out so well, poor Demmy

We must see what happens to these two poor lovers

* * *

May 7th 2008 (Zexion)

I've never been more afraid than I was yesterday. I yelled and Leon ran in to see my beloved laying on our bed passed out. Thankfully, after the initial fit of not breathing, he returned to normal, but he still scared me so much. Leon said not to take him to the hospital. He said he was ok, well, not actually ok, but we'd watch him and when he awoke, make him eat.

Zexion

* * *

Lisa: Short, I know, please, no pitchforks, I'm still playing catchup, who knew it would take so much work to catch up half a month

sigh

back to writing


	77. May 8th 2008

Lisa: Time for more catch-up!

Luxford: Whay are you so cheery?

Lisa: Are you saying that I'm not always cheery?

Luxford: Ummm…

Lisa: Fine, just took some no doz, I'm quite perky at the moment

* * *

May 8th 2008 (Demyx)

Well, We went to school today, Leon thought it would be a good idea. Yesterday was awful, they made me eat soup all day, told me I needed my strength, I know it's true, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm worried about Zexy though. He went in the bathroom yesterday and was in there forever, when he came out, he was so pallid, he crawled into bed with me and pulled me close, but I couldn't help but notice a wrap protruding from his cuff and it was crimson with blood. We have counseling today, I know it's meant for me, but I think it'll do well for Zexy as well. I can tell he's nervous about the counselor, ever since what happened with his parents, he's loathed counselors and their seemingly lack of ethics. He's been skittish all day, constantly by my side, asking how I'm feeling, but he's also distant, like he's hiding something. I think I know what that was, and I wish he'd talk to me. I feel pretty weak, I know I shouldn't have, but I skipped lunch this afternoon, I felt to nauseated to eat. I'm not looking forward to counseling at all, I don't want to talk to anyone about it. What happens, happens I suppose.

Demyx Itatchi

* * *

Lisa: You could cut the stress with a knife, well, I suppose with these two, that's not funny

Luxford: I hope the counseling session goes well

Lisa: We shall see in …drumroll… the next chappie


	78. May 9th 2008

Lisa: so, I think, the world wants some more pornos? Say, of our favorite couples? Thought so…

Luxford: Exactly what are you planning?

Lisa: Well, theres going to be a barbeque, in the back yard of course, but it won't be any normal food, it'll be top of the line aphrodisiacs…

Luxford: You're evil

Lisa: Anything for my readers…

* * *

May 9th 2008 (Zexion)

Well, counseling was, shall we say, interesting. This lady came, sat us down and asked us to tell her about us. That went pretty smooth, then she looked at Demyx and asked if he knew the purpose off this meeting was to talk specifically to him, he nodded silently. She talked to him for a while, assessing his weight, 96 pounds, too thin, especially for his height. She talked to him about how he felt about gaining weight, and they talked for a while, they eventually decided he should keep a food journal, that she could check during sessions, once a week, on Wednesdays, too assess how much he's eating. They also agreed he needed to start getting his calories but not too fast. He's been eating 200 cal a day, at most! Shes starting him at 400 and working his way up to accustom his stomach to food again. We didn't reallt talk about me today, which I'm glad for. Now, I'm smoking and self-injuring, one was supposed to replace the other, not be in unison. I don't know what to do, that seems like the status quo of the last year. But, graduations in 9 days!! That only means finals are next week, not good, for me or Demmy, what to do, what to do?

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: So, the barbaque's going quite well, I notice some tight jeans, if you all know what I mean, and thanks to The Cloaked Nocturne, it'll all be on tape… grin, I even took the liberty of placing random sex toys and outfits in the various guest rooms, this will be fun…


	79. May 10th 2008

Lisa: Well, the house is full of the sounds of love, perfect

Luxford: where are we supposed to go?

Lisa: I've always wanted to try… the trampoline…

Luxford: _odd look_

Lisa: just imagine the bouncing…

* * *

May 10th 2008 (Demyx)

Well, it's the weekend, my speech is finally done for graduation, I had half my finals last week, so this week, all I have to do is a painting for art, a paper on my plans for college, and a calculus final. It should be easy, I'm about to work on the English paper now. The session yesterday was ok, I guess. I didn't like talking about my problems like that, but I guess I'll have to suck it up, I have sessions every Wednesday now. Zexy woke up early and made me breakfast, pancakes and sausage. He cares for me so much. We agreed, no sex until grad night, he's worried I'm not up for the physical stress, and the thing is, I think he's right. I feel really weak, unable to do anything strenuous. He assured me though, that if I was good and ate, he'd have some foreplay with me later, I can't wait. Anything to get close to my love is the best. I'm still worried about him. He's still making frequent bathroom trips and coming back much longer later, I just don't want anything to happen to him, I love him.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Vexan: Where is everyone?

I feel really left out, everyone keeps leaving for parties at Lisa's, maybe I should stop be?

…

…

…

OMG, That kind of party… I think I'm going to leave now, not only did I hear stuff from in the house, but there was a couple on the trampoline… I'm disturbed… time for this organization member to leave…


	80. May 11th 2008

* * *

--On the trampoline--

Lisa: well, that was fun

Luxford: sure was, who woulda imagined the bouncing would be that awesome!

Lisa: let's go inside and see how everyone else is doing

…

Wow…

That was hard core

Luxford: my eyes, they burn, that-was-awesome

* * *

May 11th 2008 (Zexion)

So much to do, so much to do. I can stop cutting after finals. Demyx got off easy, well, he needed the break, but I have this bloody painting to do, Calculus, which I hate with a passion, an English paper, which I suppose will be easy but still… and massive bio and chem exams! This is evil. Chem and bio won't be hard, but just the idea of having so much to study is daunting to say the least. I know, sonce I started again, my cuts have grown deeper, I even started cutting my thighs to be less noticeable, thankfully, our PE final was 2 weeks ago. But it's taking longer and longer for them to stop bleeding. Leon grabbed my arm today to ask for help with dishes, and I couldn't help but wince. He looked at me concerned, and I brushed it off saying my arms were sore from weeding the garden. He looked like he didn't believe it, but he didn't push the topic. I can tell that I'll be under greater scrutiny, I'm glad most the cuts on my arms have healed, I'll have to focus on my legs from now on. I can't get caught.

Zexion Iwshe

Lisa: I mean, they were airborne and everything?

Luxford: and no trampoline? I don't even know what I saw

Lisa: I do, I just don't know how it's physically possible?


	81. May 12th 2008

* * *

Lisa: I still can't figure that out…

Luxford, it's on tape, we can watch it later and figure it out, k?

Lisa: O, yea, the tapes, by the way, my lovely readers, we have the tapes, high-definition and everything!

And just for you, they're free!

* * *

May 12th 2008 (Demyx)

Today was easy, finished my painting, did half my english paper, and to Zexy's relief, ate some lunch, not much, a bit of stew, but it made him smile to see I'm trying. He's so stressed out about his finals and graduation. We have practice Saturday, after a brunch honoring the senior class, and then, we're free for the day. Tonight, Zexy's taking me to the movies, try and get me to relax, but I think, it's him that needs to relax. He's worried about everything, and I know for sure he's cutting again. He came to bed last night, slightly shaking, and I could see a hint of blood on the hem of his pants. He stoped taking his Prozac sometime when Ii moved in, and I've noticed that his moods have gotten slightly darker. He's wearing black more often, and I'm not sure, I've never taken the stuff, but the counselor said she'd be assessing whether Zexy and I should be on anti-depressants. She's going to ask us some questions and have us take a few tests. I wonder how that'll go. I'm not against the idea, but the idea of happiness only coming with pills, I'm not so sure about.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: You're reviews are all coming in, and I must say, they are hilarious, I love how all of you are telling stories, actually, I'm planning on posting an entire chappie on 6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9's reviewsm I think all of you will love them to death, I know I do!


	82. May 13th 2008

Lisa: Orgy Tuesday!

Luxford: WHAT!

Lisa: You heard me, sex, sex, sex.

Luxford: I think you have a problem Lisa…

Lisa: Don't patronize me

* * *

May 13th 2008 (Zexion)

My Bio and Chem exams are tomorrow, so is counseling. I hope they don't find out about the cutting. Demyx can't handle that kinda problem right now. He needs to worry about his recovery. My English report is done, thankfully, and my Calculus exam is Thursday and who know. So many things to do. I am so stressed out. I don't know what to do first. Demyx has been eating. I'm so happy for him. I know that he's going to be ok, and I'm going to be there for him every step of the way. I've been smoking a little out of hand again. I think Leon's noticed, I can tell he's worried. I don't know what to do, that's the theme at the moment, I just don't know.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I think it's a good idea.

Luxford: All you think about is making sex tapes

Lisa: so?

Luxford: You're impossible


	83. May 14th 2008

Lisa: Time for the counseling session!

Axel: I'm getting bored

Lisa: I'll try to make it better

Axel: I can take it and blow it up…

Lisa: NO

* * *

May 14th 2008 (Demyx)

We had counseling today. Not fun at all. Being analyzed, everything, nonstop. I'm afraid of saying anything for fear she might construe it to fit her own means. I HATE it. We had to take all these diagnostics, and she looked them over, totaled them and decided that I needed 20 mg tablets of Prozac daily and Zexy needed 30 mg tablets. I was kinda surprised by that, I mean the counselor was here for me, and when he got the prescription, there was this look in his eye, I can't figure out what that look was. Desperation, depression, giving up? Why does he need a stronger dosage than me, that's the strongest you can get. Now I'm worried, is there something wrong with my Zexy that he's not telling me? What if something happens? I don't know what I'll do without him. The therapist said we both had clinical depression, but she said because of confidentiality, she couldn't talk about either of our test results to the other. I wonder what Zexy's thinking, after she gave us our prescriptions, told us to keep writing in our journals and take our medicine, she left and Zexy went out back to smoke, he's been so quiet. Didn't come in till an hour later, then went to his room. I don't want to disturb him, but I think I'll go lay with him for a little, just let him know I'm there for him.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: So, when will Demyx find out?

What will happen at graduation

And when will I catch up this fanfic

All of these answers and more

In the future


	84. May 15th 2008

Lisa: I know, I know, the last few 20 so chapters have been rather rushed, but my goay was to catch up tonight, and in one minute, I didn't meet my goal

Sigh

I tried, but I know for sure I'll be done this evening. I'd like to thank those of you who are still reading, I know the last manth may have been a bit sucky, but starting tomorrow, I hope the chapters are fuller and better in general!

* * *

May 15th 2008 (Zexion)

I knew it. The damned questionnaires, of course they had to have questions on self-mutilation, suicidal thoughts, all that fun stuff. And of course, I had to get the strongest meds they make. This sucks. I hate anti-depressants, I can't sleep at night, I can't concentrate during the day, and I notice that I don't care anymore either when I take it. I was taking the 20 mg, not I'm at the 30? Does that mean I've gotten worse? I thought I was better. I just don't know anymore. I suppose I'll just take the meds and get it over with. Well, the good news, my exams are over, my papers turned in, the next day at school is basically to hang out. Then graduation. I did great on Bio and Chem, Calculus, I don't even want to talk about it. But I think everything else went good. Well, I think I'm going to bed, haven't slept in a while. Night.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Almost caught up!

Just so close

I can taste it

Yahoo!!


	85. May 16th 2008

Lisa: It's sooo late, but I must catch up with chapters, it's my mission!

Luxford: It's late, go to bed

Lisa: I have fans, I can't disappoint

* * *

May 16th 2008 (Zexion)

Yay, last day of school. It was actually pretty sad. I'll miss everyone. I'm just glad I'll always have my demmykins, I love him so much. I started my medicine regiment today. I feel off, cut twice today in the bathroom, wasn't even sad, just felt the need. I think studies found people on Prozac are more likely to commit suicide? How does that work. Well, I don't know, but I feel really spacey right now, I think I'm going to go lay down. Good night, dear journal, great friend.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

I am caught up

I know it was short, but I'm so tired and a long day ahead, I will write a good chappie tomorrow, promise


	86. May 17th 2008

Lisa: I know, I know, I suck at life, my reviews have been pretty non-existent, and I think that's a sign, that the last few chappies have sucked?

I've been trying to get an internship, and summer, and aaahhhhh

And I'm behind again

_Sigh_

* * *

May 17th 2008 (Demyx)

So, I know why zexy doesn't like these pills. They make me feel like I don't care about anything. I mean, I was eating, and I don't care about food at all, Leon has to remind me to eat, and, I can't sleep at night. Zexy was tossing all night too, I know he's not sleeping, and at one point, he went to the bathroom, for a while, I don't think he knows I noticed, but I'm concerned, his trips are becoming more frequent. We had our brunch this morning; I ate for his sake, and then practice, speech and all. I'm so nervous about tomorrow, I can't wait till it's all over, and Zexy and I can start planning the wedding. It's in less than a month. We haven't even gotten a place for it yet! Well, I don't know, I think I'll talk to Leon about Zexy tonight, I'm just really worried about him. I just don't want to betray his trust. I don't know what to do?

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: So, do you all hate me? I'm so sorry I haven't been the most reliable updater, but I try

pitiful look


	87. May 18th 2008

Lisa: Graduation!! Yay, I loved graduation, you know why? Because that means it's summer!!

Sora: You know what that means… time for some more kinky sex tapes, but we need a theme?

Lisa: Ideas anyone? Lets make this the best set of pornos ever!

Lisa: I know, I know, I suck at life, my reviews have been pretty non-existent, and I think that's a sign, that the last few chappies have sucked?

I've been trying to get an internship, and summer, and aaahhhhh

And I'm behind again

_Sigh_

* * *

May 18th 2008: Graduation! (Zexy)

He was so perfect. He gave his speech beautifully, we walked to the podium together, it was great. He blushed when everyone clapped, it was amazing. They announced scholarships at the banquet, Demyx won a full ride to Eureka, and I submitted for that scholar ship too, Guess what, they picked two applicants from our county, and I was the second! This means we can stay together! I'm just so happy, we had a graduation party right after the ceremony, mainly people from school, my crazy uncle, and some cousins. And… my mom, she came. She was plastered, it was bloody 2 in the afternoon? Leon escorted her out, Cloud called the cops, and they took her drunk self away. Why are parents so evil? I'm trying to have a great day, of course, as she was being dragged out, she had to yell every obscenity at me, tell me I was worthless, didn't deserve the life she gave to me. I just stood there dumbstruck for a minute, then Demmy came over, and pulled me close, told me it would all be ok. We went inside for a few minutes, snuggled on the couch, so I could collect myself. And he told me, that the wedding was soon, full on blushing, I can't wait to be his forever, it'll be the best day in my life, our lives. And, tonight, Demmy said he was good enough for some 'rated' activities… I am so exited…

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: Aww, no matter what happens, they have eachother, it's so sweet, but what will happen when Zexy takes off his clothes?

We shall find out… in the next chapter


	88. May 19th 2008

Lisa: So, ideas so far, hosting a fake Jerry Springer show in the bedroom?, Ummm… playing board games, strip board games of course, and the classic, cops and robbers? Any more ideas my lovely readers?

Sora: Cops and Robbers, I can't wait to frisk Riku, then cuff him…

Lisa: I wanna watch that…

* * *

May 19th 2008 (Demyx)

O my gawd. I am beyond worried. After the whole graduation party fiasco, which, I'm happy to say, celebrated the fact that we're going to the same college! And Zexy's mom putting a wrench in everything. We were going to celebrate, I was finally feeling up to trying prom night activities part two. Well, I threw him on the bed, you could tell we both wanted it, but Zexy had a hesitation, I was worried. I stripped off his shirt with ease, and was glad to see he hadn't been cutting. We were so into it, the bulges in our pants were painfully obvious, I went to pull his pants off and he winced as he froze, I looked at him and asked what was the matter, and all he could do was apologize. I started freaking out at this point, trying to stay calm for his sake, but it was hard. I slowly pulled his pants down, and his sexy blue boxers I got him for Valentine's day, and what I saw scared me so, so much. Angry gashed, cuts, scrapes, deep cuts, all up and down his thighs. There wasn't a spot of safe clear skin anywhere. I just looked at him, and couldn't help the tears that streamed down my eyes. I held him tight, and told him we could get him help, by then, our erections, long forgotten. We spent the night, just laying together, enjoying the warmth and comfort of knowing that we would always have eachother.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: caught up, again

_Sigh of relief_

So, still looking for ides for the pornathon? Anyone?


	89. May 20th 2008

Lisa: well, I've received a few ideas, but most of you want a school girl theme, lol, I think the whole idea is, well… completely awesome. So, time for catholic outfits!

Sora: I have all the outfits, bought them secondhand from a nun…

Zexion: and how, might I ask, are we supposed to fit in theses

_Holds up skirt_

Lisa: Demmy will help you figure it out…

* * *

May the pornathon ensue

May 20th 2008 (Zexy)

Well, it's summer, and I'm so glad. I know it had a bad start, and I feel awful for scaring Demyx like that. I love him to death, and I think I did some damage last night. I was hoping he wouldn't tell anyone, but I suppose he was doing what was best for me, I guess… This afternoon, Leon came into my room and sat on the bed next to me. At the time, I was reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix again. He looked at me and I could tell he was worried, I felt really bad about it all, I mean, it helped me get through the school year, but maybe it wasn't the best idea. He asked to see and I refused. He shook his head and told me he couldn't help me if I didn't let him and he was worried. I told him I would be fine, and not to worry. I think he's upset with me, I love him, but sometimes, I wished he didn't know about my problems, sometimes I wished no one knew. I'm just glad it's summer, time to relax and prepare for the wedding, which is in 19 days, and college. I can't wait.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

_Loud moans_

Axel: I can't get your tie off Roxas

Roxas: you really are that uncoordinated aren't you?

Why do you need to get my tie off, I'm wearing a skirt?

Axel: blush…


	90. May 21st 2008

Lisa: All is going quite well I think. The ties weren't a good idea, but the skirts, amazing

Zexion: I really, really liked Demyx in a skirt…

Lisa: and, thanks to covert cameras, a new line of pornos are coming out thanks to our wonderful camera operator 6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9, a round of applause please

* * *

May 21st 2008 (Demyx)

Zexy hasn't really let me close since the other night, I think he's embarrassed, but I'm really worried. A lot of those cuts were pretty deep, deeper than he's ever gone before. I just want him to stay with me, what if he dies? Gets an infection, goes too far? The weddings in a few weeks, we have a place, right in the zoo. I love animals, and Zexy actually hooked it all up. Only friends are coming, and Leon and Cloud of course. Pretty simple, small wedding, after party at our house, honeymoon in, well, I don't know where it is, Zexy's trying to surprise me. I wish I knew, I'm so exited. We're wearing the same tux's as prom, and everything's set. The colours will be blue and faint purple, I love blue. I just hope, I don't lose Zexy before we get united forever, he's my one and only and I love him to death.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I love catholic school-girl outfits!

Luxford: I do too, too bad that wasn't the dress code for everything…

Lisa: Well, I suppose there could be a sex-costume only rule for the cabin?

Unison: **Totally!**


	91. May 22nd 2008

Lisa: I can't wait for June 9th, It'll be magical.

Zexion: Marvelous day

Demyx: _laughs_, such a funny number, so perfect for you and me Zexy

Zexion: _blush_

* * *

May 22nd 2008 (Zexion)

So, the honey moon, I can't wait, Demyx will never figure it out. He loves water, and the beach, and fish and all that's tropical so I picked out a perfect location for a week. I have only cut once sonce schools been out. I knew I said I would stop, but I couldn't help it when Leon came to talk to me. I was so frustrated. I can't wait to marry my one and only, to legally be with him forever. I think, tonight, we'll try a repeat of grad night. I hope all works well, I really want to be with him. With all of my heart.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I wanna play cops and robbers…

I have the cuffs…

And outfits…

And… KY…

Roxas: I wanna play too, Axel?

Axel: I call the fuzzy blue cuffs, they match your eyes…


	92. May 23rd 2008

Luxford: Where'd all the handcuffs come from?

Lisa: My secret hiding spot…

Luxford: But, I mean, you have so many different kinds, hard core, fuzzy, edible?

Lisa: Wouldn't have it any other way

* * *

May 23rd 2008 (Demyx)

Last night was amazing in every definition of the word. I couldn't help but feel a little awkward rubbing against Zexy's legs, they had to be sore, but our naked bodies moving in unison of one another, knowing exactly what the other was going to do before we did it, climaxing at the same moment and finally drifting off to sleep in each others arms. It was a magical night. I love him so much, flaws and all, and I hope he feels the same. Tonight, we're going to the movies, then come home go for a walk in the woods, maybe climb a tree. It'll be great.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Axel: I love these edible handcuffs.

Lisa: Especially the blueberry ones…


	93. May 24th 2008

* * *

Lisa: Behind again, I know, if its any consolation, I just had a wisdom tooth cut out, and I'm currently living off of Vicodin…

Yea, I'm unconscious a lot…

But, I'm back, and ready to continue writing this epic story, which one of my beloved reviewers informed me, might be the longest, chapter-wise, on the whole site?

Well, we're getting close to chappie 100, and a special dedication yay!

* * *

May 24th 2008 (Zexion)

I love him so much, it's amazing. To love someone with all your heart, and know no matter what you do, they'll always be there for you, is the best feeling in the world. We spent the day, just sitting in each others arms, silently contemplating what the other was thinking, while knowing, deep inside, we were thinking exactly the same thing. I'm so glad it's the weekend, relax, hang around the house, smoke, a lot. See my love, which, I know, I get to do quite often, but no where near enough. His strong arms around my smaller frame, makes me feel so safe. I think tonight, we'll go for a walk, and enjoy eachothers company, work out the last few details of the wedding.

Zexion Iwshe

Lisa: I know, fluff, not much detail, but even the angst master needs a break every once in a while, but trust me, the angst will return…


	94. May 25th 2008

Lisa: Sunday, Sunday, sweet Sunday, so time to try and catch up, yet again

_Tear_

Axel: I know what will cheer you up…

Lisa: _skeptical look_… What?

Axel: fireworks!

Lisa: great…

* * *

May 25th 2008 (Demyx)

So, I think things are going pretty good, Zexy starts his internship Wednesday, well after he gets his TB test tomorrow, which, of course will be negative. He's working with an oncologist, I don't know how well that will work out considering how much pain and suffering he will see, but he's the one that wants to be a doctor, so I suppose he'll have to get used to it. He's supposed to get his wisdom teeth out Friday, he's not looking forward to it, but he's been complaining about how much they hurt. My poor sweet angel. Tonight, we layed, and watched the stars for hours, I'm leaving for two weeks, well a little more, my grandma in Oregon is pretty sick, and my parents aren't exactly being the best kids at the moment. So I need to help her out. I'll be leaving right after our honeymoon, I'm not sure where we're going, but I'm really exited, I'm not even sure how long we're going to be gone? I love him so much, I hope we have a good week.

Demyx Itatchi-soon to be Iwshe…

* * *

Lisa: **AXEL, YOU CAUGHT THE CURTAINS ON FIRE**

Demyx: I'll put them out

Lisa: _sigh_

I cant trust you to light a bloody match, let alone fireworks…


	95. May 26th 2008

Lisa: Ok, so, its Monday, Monday was a hell of a day for me, and, I think, my angst monkey will have fun with this week in general…

* * *

May 26th 2008 (Zexion)

So, I know, these damned meds, the extra strength Prozac is supposed to make me feel better, but part of me is more depressed than ever. It's really sad, and I know he worries about me, but I'm not going to die from SI, I'm not. I feel guilty that I did it again, but it wasn't that bad. But after I did it, I made the realization that I'd have to get my shot tomorrow, and once again reveal my arm for all to see. Great, just great. Well, time for sleep, I don't want to dwell on this too long.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: _Sigh_, I know that that wasn't very angsty, but trust me, the rest of the week goes better

Devious grin


	96. May 27th 2008

Lisa: So, for me, Tuesday was absolutely awful, I don't know about you all, but it sucked!

Axel: I can try to cheer you up…

Everyone in unison: **NO!**

* * *

May 27th 2008 (Zexion)

So, today sucks, absolutely sucks. I woke up today, to Cloud shaking me telling me it was time to get my tooth cut out. So, went to the dentist, got a charming prescription for strong pain meds, then off to reveal myself to the beautiful nurse to get a TB shot. And, of course, she had to inspect both of my arms, trying to hide the look of shock that consumed her pretty face, and made a side comment that I must have an evil cat. Then check my arms again. I suppose it was to make sure I wasn't going to hurt myself, but it gets old, it really does. I know I did this to myself, I wake every day to see the damage I've inflicted, I don't need others to rub it in, make me feel worse, tarnished, less than perfect, which I know I already am. I don't need stared at, commented upon, pitied, I just need to live my life, that's all. So, after that lovely visit, we picked up my meds, my mouth bloody hurts, so bad, I can't describe it. Damned tooth.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Axel: But, com'on…

**NO**

Axel: just some thermite…

**NO**


	97. May 28th 2008

Lisa: So, I mixed up the timeline a little, I'm doing most of this week based on me.

Fun, fun week, I'm quite sure

_Sigh_

Hope you all enjoy the angst

* * *

May 28th 2008 (Demyx)

He's wearing long sleeves again. I hate worrying about him, He's acting secretive again, and he was up half the night about in tears because of his mouth hurting. He even took medicine times three of what he was supposed to. I love him so much. I just don't like him hurting himself, it hurts me inside to know that even though I've stopped, he keeps going. He's smoking more than he was too. I'm so worried. He's not talking as much as he used to, it's like he's being secretive about something. I just don't know what.

Demyx Itatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: hmmm, I wonder whats going on with Zexy, I suppose we shall see soon…


	98. May 29th 2008

Lisa: So, I need advice, once again, I'm considering stopping this story, readership gas gone down quite a bit, and I want to know what you'all think?

Zexion: would that mean no more pornathons?

**NOOOOO**

Demyx: I love handcuff nights…

* * *

May 29th 2008 (Zexion)

I have TB, how can that be. I've been worrying about it since it started puffing up. I had a pretty severe reaction to the test. They had me run over to the hospital to get my chest x-rayed, Demyx was freaking out. I'll get the results tomorrow. I still can't sleep. The damned teeth. My meds wear off around 4 each morning, and then its half an hour for the next round to kick in. I have to admit. I haven't been doing it around anyone, but I have to admit, I can't help the tears that keep weeping out of my eyes, what if I'm active? I could die, what if I have the resistant form? I could die, what if I gave it to Demmy, my beloved, what if he left me because of it, what if he died? I can't be responsible for his death, it would kill me. I feel so guilty, what if it's all my fault? I told Demmy, we layed outside beneath our favorite tree for a few hours, just enjoying each others company, holding each other. He told me that he wouldn't blame me, and he loves me regardless of what happens. I love him so much. I don't know what I'll do when he goes to see his grandmother.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: aNgSt

So, I think, chappie 100 will be a pornathon?

Any takers?


	99. May 30th 2008

Lisa: Yay, caught up again,

Dammit

Looks at clock

Why do I have to catch up, just when the clock strikes the new day?

Well, anyway, I'll finish the month out tomorrow, I am quite drugged after all…

Damned wisdom teeth

* * *

May 30th 2008 (Zexion)

So, my xrays came in today, I'm not contagious, just have to take medicine for 9 months, no drinking alcohol, have to avoid some foods, and chest xrays for life. But, at least, I'm not contagious. And, my bloody tooth hurts so much. Well, not really my tooth, its my lack of a tooth. I feel so awful, I just want to sleep.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Caught up, again, well, minus today I guess, but I need sleep

_Zzz_

_zzz_

_zzz_

_zzz_


	100. May 31st 2008

Lisa: _does dance_… Chappie 100!!...

To commerate, I'm doing a recap of all the little bits of reviews from some of my favorite readers who have endlessly entertained me…

* * *

**Pride1289**: I hate old ppl who have little dogs cuz when I'm walking mine and they come across eachother, the old lady is all like: Oh is he/she friendly?

me: um...Not to little dogs.

old lady: Oh can I pet him?

Me: uh...I wouldn't

Skippy: BARK BARK GROWL BARK!! XO

old lady: oh my.

**Pride1289:** zombie walks out of closet w/ camera in hand o...m...g...I MUST SEND THIS TO THE INTERWEBS! XDXDXDXDXDXD  
LOLZ! Now I'm going to go tape Roxas sleeping. Then edit it to make it look like Axel is gropping him under the bed! WOOT!

* * *

Lisa: Wow, chappie 100, counts on fingers… that's a lot, I can't believe we made it!

Zexion: Ya know… let's have a kinky sex party…

Demyx: looks up shocked

Zexy… did you just say kinky sex tape…? Zexy…

Zexion: You heard me… grabs Demmy and carries him to the back room, whilst ripping off clothes

Lisa: Well, you heard the 'emo' get bumpin like a bunch of rabbits, jeesh

* * *

May 31st 2008 (Demyx)

So, I was thinkin, Zexy needs to have a good day, so, I think I made that happen. I started out, going to the store last night and buying the essentials, whipped cream, more edible handcuffs, we really go through a lot of those, male thongs, candles, roses, and every type of KY known to man, and a swimming pool. When I got home, I got weird looks from Leon, but I motioned to the pool and the giant things of lubricant and he laughed. So, I went in the bedroom after Zexy fell asleep, blew up the pool, filled it with lubricant, stripped, covered certain areas with whipped cream, and started ravishing his neck while straddling him. He woke up a little groggily, but then he looked at me and saw the whipping cream, and the pool by the side, and I could feel him harden beneath me, he grinned, and well, we had a very good evening. After the whipped cream ran out, and the edible handcuffs, we 'played' in the pool. I have to admit, I know I've only had sex a few times, but that was amazing. The lube making our bodies slide past eachother, it was amazing. After that, we took a bath, together of course, and finally, fell asleep together, tired from all the hot kinkiness. I think Zexy had a good night…

Demyx tatchi-Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: I want a lube filled pool!

Wait… I'm going to get right on that…runs to store…

Luxford: Lisa, whats that oily stuff in that… 14 foot long pool in the living room?!

Lisa: rips off Luxfords shirt

You figure it out…

Lisa: yells hey every one, KY party!!

Time for more sex tapes!

* * *

**BrokenAnzaran**: AW . sniff  
commentary  
... notices zexions gone, and with demyx...huh.. looks up and sees them makeing out ... "oh..." o-o ..."so... hot..."  
... sees axel "SQE"  
BAM  
ba eyes her catch  
"uhh... hey lisa? is roxas around  
grins evily

* * *

**NegativeCloud**: Lol,I love this story. Also, ZEXION ISN'T EMO, WOMAN!

* * *

**Hyperactiveice:** yeah. school does conspire to know end on the "we want to kill you" rampage.

* * *

**6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9**: abuseHi! thumbs up thats right, i'll be there taping all the action, if you happen to see a shadow behind a random potted plant- its probably me my collection is now over 100 tapes, wonderful! much love


	101. June 1st 2008

Lisa: Well, I hope you all liked ep. 100 of Dear Journal, I don't think I've ever seen any fics this long, I hope the uniqness piques all your interest and stays interesting, well, to keep it interesting, I suppose some angst is well over due…

* * *

June 1st 2008 (Zexion)

I didn't think I'd see another month come. Another month go by. I was so happy with Demyx yesterday, but part of me, deep inside, can't be pleased, no matter what joyous event takes place. I feel like the colour black seeps through my veins, death screams from my pale skin, I want to die. That's all I want. I feel like staying to appease others is wearing on me, breaking me down so far I fear, that's a wrong choice of words, wish I wouldn't get up. Yet, I always do. Why can't I die? I want to live for my love, for the people who have been so kind to me, yet isn't it selfish of them to ask me to stay? I think I should just end it all, not with blood, I figure pills would be the safer route. I don't want Demy to be scarred forever seeing me covered in blood. I have this little poem stuck in my head, I figure I should write it down, it'll probably be the last one I write.

Thirsting for death

Laughing counterpart stares at you

reflecting off the mirror every morning

knowing that the day will go on

beating heart silently protests

wishing each moment would be the last

bringing much wanted nothingness

creating a pretense of contentment

posing as the famous façade

churning insides know otherwise

crying silent tears

praying to end it all

hoping to find an out

dreaming of the end

thirsting for death

I think of everything, what I will miss the most is my beloved. I love him with all my heart, but my heart is bleeding tears of blood, and I know they will never stop. I feel lifeless, hopeless. It's best to end it. I 

think it would be best to leave behind a note, just to tell everyone what happened, and maybe, to make Demyx feel better.

_Demyx, everyone_

_I'm sorry, I love you all, I really do, but I can't keep on living a lie. I feel miserable, everything I do mocks me. I know, suicide isn't the best way out as most say, but for me, it's the only option left. I hate life, I hate waking each day knowing it will be as pointless as the next. Leon, Cloud, thanks for taking me in to your home, treating me as your own, it really meant a lot to me. Demyx, you were my reason for staying, the reason I've tried so long. It is you that I regret doing this. But please understand, I need this, I need to die. Life is too painful, agonizingly awful. I can't do it anymore. But no matter what, I love you Demyx, with all of my heart. I love you._

_Zexion Iwshe_

I left it in the kitchen, someone will find it there, for now, it's time for pills. I'm sorry dear journal, sorry I failed you, sorry I wasted you paper. Sorry for everything.

Zexion Iwshe

* * *

Lisa: He di…di…died?

NOOOOO

But I love Zexion

Luxford: Lisa?

Lisa: you know what I mean dear…

Well, we shall see what happens, **dun dun dun**, tomorrow, how will Dmmy handle this?


	102. June 2nd 2008

Lisa: smiles… hi everyone

Runs

I hate it when they all chase me with pitchforks

Just…pants…because…I…killed…the…main…character…

Falls

Ye of little faith

June 2nd 2008 (Demyx)

I just, I don't know what to do. I walked in the house, went to get the mail, and I found a note in the kitchen. I ran to his room and found him laying there, looking so peaceful. I dropped to my knees, and just couldn't believe what I saw before my eyes. By that time, Leon ran in, I guess he had got home from work and saw the note. He looked so scared. He ran o my beloved and immediately checked for a pulse, and his eyes lit up. He yelled for me to call 911, and started performing CPR. I was so confused, I thought he was dead. I dialed, gave the address and ran back to my love. By then, Leon had started his heart again, and he was breathing, yet still quite unconscious. The ambulance came, and I've been by his side, since they pumped his stomach and moved him to the ICU. They let me sleep here the night, in the chair next to his bed, never letting go of his hand. I don't know why he did this, I reread the note, and he seemed really down, but he hasn't been that down at all, not since… not since they started him on the Prozac again. Maybe, maybe it had a bad effect on him? It was extra strength, maybe it messed with him. I don't know, all I know is, I hope he awakes, and I can see his sweet smile again, and we get through this. Leon and Cloud are pretty shook up about all of this. We're all taken by shock, we didn't think he was suicidal. I love him so much, it hurts to see him like this, pale, unconscious, hooked to various monitors, its awful. I've never been that scared in my life. What if I would have lost him. I would never the same, I can't live without him

Demyx Iwshe, forever and always

Lisa: see, I don't kill him, almost, but I wouldn't do that, or would I?

evil laugh

You shall see my pretties, you shall see,

And remember, reviews make my day!


	103. June 9th 2058

I'm sorry everyone… but I think I'm finally discontinuing this story.

Too my beloved reviewers, thank you for your kind reviews and little stories that nvr failed to make me laugh. Hopefully, I'll start another fic soon, a shorter one I'll assure you all. As an ending for this one… hmm…

June 9th 2058 (Zexion)

I can't believe I found my old journal. It was laying up in the attic for so long. So many years have gone past since this journal, so many. I looked back to my last entry, wasn't so pleasant. The docs found I had a sensitivity reaction; I was in the hospital for a week, than everything was right as rain. My beloved Demmy and I wed that sunny Wednesday and off to Hawaii we went. Seems like just yesterday, playing on the beach together, just two kids having a good time, these years have been so wonderful to us. Demmy and I went to college together, he became a veterinarian, has his own place down the street. Works there everyday. Funny enough, I became a therapist, well, as close as a school guidance counselor can be to that anyways. I work at the local high school, talking to the teens about their problems. Like a walk back in time everyday. I remember my past, and use it to make the path before these kids a little easier. Leon and Cloud, well, as they grew older, they moved down the street from us, babysit on occasion. Axel owns the biggest fireworks place in the continental U.S., he married Roxas, and well, their still all over each other to this day. I think that's everyone. I just find it interesting I find this book today of all days… June ninth… we were wed 50 years ago today. Some didn't think it would work, some criticized us, but in the end… it all worked out.

Zexion Iwshe

Lisa: I'll miss you all

Tears

I hope you all read my other stories! 2 chapters max, but still good I think

And lastly,

Thank you all so much for reading


End file.
